I don't know, shall I honestly just write a diary for the world to read, that's not interesting, everything needs substance, everything is built on something, with a purpose in mind, guess mine's going to be a blog heavily relying on spell check and no natural light, actually no fucking lights, light helps me see what I don't like and I don't like a lot.
Is it strange that I'm not actually thinking what I'm writing, I'm just writing?
What is a blog? Now I guess that can be the first barrier to break down. I have an idea but I don't actually know what defines and makes something a blog. You just make a page and post it and that's it, a blog right.
I could technically publish the word Cunt 200 times and that's a blog I guess, If I wrote that on a piece of paper and left it on the floor in the Tate Modern people would be hard pressed to define if that was art or not?
It's all subjective, in the eye of the beholder, has deeper meaning than that, really read into it. Nope, just a profanity on paper.
I told you it wouldn't be for everyone, I'm a hard sell. Like the football team metaphor.
Now I've forgotten to take my medicine but that happens most nights so I'll just keep on typing in the dark.
A quick trip to Google then wikipedia tells me all I need to know.
"A blog is a discussion or informational site published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete entries. Many blogs provide commentary on a particular subject. Others function as more personal online diaries, and others function more as online brand advertising of a particular individual or company. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic."
I'm an online brand. I've already said I tried to sell myself, even though I can't.
Now we have a definitive answer for said idea and subject or subjects full of matter, it should be an easy sell right? Would you buy an item that's bitter and past its sell by date, I thought not, so why would you want to read this?
I have no idea. I'm terrible with words, Like I said I'm not trying to write anything right now yet sentences form in front of me that are semi coherent and people tell me its okay. Or are my deluded realities and real life becoming one in the same so much so I'm making the compliments up?
I'm trying to be real. I'm 27, I'm lost in my life, I have a loving and supporting family and friends, I have a fiance who I've already told multiple times I'm going to ruin her life. I have a job, a part time one that is. I'm over weight, I spend too much money on games and I want Deus Ex so bad!
I have a diary, well I have three, one I can't find, one I found and you don't want to read or know any of the contents of those pages, why couldn't I have lost that one, the other one was kind of an idea book, like this new one, It's red, an angry colour for an angry person, I told myself to aim for the floor as you can't miss, I keep shooting myself in the foot, I think that's worse. Wise words from a complete idiot that I miss, But its true, I know they say The skies the limit, but technically doesn't the sky start at the floor too? like ground and then all of thee above is sky?
So this red diary has some pretty epic stuff in it, truly inspiring words to keep me motivated, I think I wrote "The day you come back down to earth is the day you get a job at McDonald's"
Beautifully obscure. Different, I want to stand for the person that doesn't fit in, the reminder that different is normal, who can truly define what is normal? sometimes I can't even define what weird shit I see. I have a psychiatrist, I must be doing a really good job because I'm on my fifth in 21 months. considering I see them once every 3 months, every time I open up the next visit I have a new one, I thought it was odd that I had to sign in on the wall in someone Else's shit.
I'll be the fist in the air, the voice of many, or the many voices I hear, don't tell the doctors though I might get told to go back.
We are all different and different is good, you are the person that will change the way the future is seen, that idea you had, that moment of clarity with ones self, that thought whilst driving, that will always be the first step to changing how you and the person around you lives your life. Become the change you want to see. If you think you can do it then do it, if you fall down just remember the sky starts at the ground. I see no definition for what is and what isn't sky.
Aim low, the sky's the limit.
My Twitter is @winslowbateman
My Instagram is www.instagram.com/fi5h5tick5/
also I have Twitch www.twitch.tv/fi5h5tick5/profile
I've figured out my first topic I will be looking at, so far It's been split into three posts, It's too fucking long, I started off by splitting into two because of the length, Not that you can put a length on perfection but I heard It's around three pages long.
Check the back catalogue, It's awful. But you can see me go from failing English and barely getting a C, having no understanding of writing, then this scramble of words you see in front of you.
Peace and Love.
Thanks for the feedback, hopefully people will come forward and start talking with me or just saying hello. who knows?
Till next time,
Caleb. FI5H5TICK5 and all the names in-between.
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