The sites down and so's my creative streak

So The Nerd Stash is currently swapping hosts for the website which means I get some down time from all fun of writing news articles and seeing whats going on in the world on a daily basis, so I came back to old trusty Blogspot.

I probably need to keep more up to date with this but I get lost and find it hard to find the time especially when reviewing games as it takes a lot of time, patience and concentration to complete them in one to two sittings and all of those things aren't my strong point.

Lifeless Planet was so boring I nearly ended my own life, but then that might be the message the developer was going for so I thought I'd just slightly crucify it in my review, nothing to harsh, I believe I said it was 'The worst game I'd ever played'

So my two hour creative window and coffee break has gone to updating the world about the woes of being a ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny writer and reviewer with nothing to write and no new games to play apart from my ever growing catalogue of titles I'm playing for my own pleasure.

Currently playing a lot of Battlefield: Hardline, me and my brother are a squad to be reckoned with when we get into the groove and with a wicked single player campaign I look forward to finishing it again on Hardline mode as veterans the highest you can start it on, what a shame! I think once you've ranked up your expert level to the max and re try the levels again they should be easier as you have more fire power to play with as taking on the world with a shotgun always ends badly.

Me and my partner in crime the lovely Sarah Jane are slowly working our way through The Halo Master Chief Collection, 9 levels into Halo 2 and I still can't get my head round how beautiful that game looks!

Thinking about making some lets plays with her as we shout at each other a lot, she also like to tell me off for exploring the map, or 'running away' as she likes to call it, apparently I'm a terrible coop partner, Me and Matt never had that problem.

I finished my fourth play through of Bastion, another game that's possibly one of my favourites ever with Transistor, anything SuperGiant Games do is gold in my eyes!

Yoshi's Woolly World is currently taking my brain by storm at the moment as I want it more than words can describe, even more so than Batman: Arkham Knight and that's saying something. Woolly yarn Yoshi, to adorable for words to describe, a Let's Play must in my eyes!

This has been in the back of my mind ever since EGX last year

I have EGX to look forward to this year as well and hopefully after this years E3 there will be a lot of new games to play, I'm most excited to get my hands on StarWars Battlefront as Dice make a quality shooter, as long as it works better than Battlefield 4 did over its launch period, I had such a bad time with it I traded it in for something I've probably traded in or forgotten about now.

As life's concerned I'm still fucking lost. It's my birthday in like 4 weeks and the thought of being 26 and still as hopeless as I was when I was 18 and fresh out of school kills me, as I slowly move forward in my life something new comes along and fucks it up, finally a names been put to the illness but I still worry that every day is my last sane one as my brain ticks along like a time bomb.

Do people still read these or do I write them for myself? I think I kind of just write them to put my thoughts into words and get rid of them, if people read them then thats cool, if they don't then thats cool. The blog lead on to the next chapter and lets hope that next chapter leads to bigger challenges.

Koi Koi

ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Caleb

Today I thought of you.

So I've been hugely busy over the past few weeks, I've been an usher at my best friends wedding, I've travelled Novigrad, Velen and Skellige and write a lot of news articles and reviews for the Nerd Stash.

Everything seems to be going in the right direction for me at the minute and then I thought of you.
'You' being the blog, Its easy to neglect and forget about when your putting so much time and effort into your passion, I'm eternally grateful to Jeremy for giving me this opportunity and I loving every minute I spend in this little gaming hub, and free games!

I love free games.

So in true 'Ive left my blog for two weeks or longer fashion' I decided to write another one updating the world with this online diary I've taken to writing.

What started the neglect was The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt, I always new the time would come where I switched off from real life and turn Geralts story into my own. In true RPG nerd fashion that happened and its all I wanted to do for two weeks, then work got in the way and I reviewed one good game and one bad game, The bad game being a mobile port of 'Badland' it just seemed like a huge cash in to me, trying to make a quick buck by taking its mobile success and applying it to the console world, more original Xbox than Xbox One material.

The good being a weird and whacky game called 'Schrodingers Cat and The Raiders of The Lost Quark' A truly unique mechanic making this a true stand out!

Quarks are adorable also! End of.

If you haven't check out the website please do, we have multiple social media pages set up and the team works really hard to try and bring all the happening news to the readers in the own unique fashion. Creative freedom being key, if you want to write it then do it, and with the run up to E3 being four days away the excitement and nerves are running high to try and make our first expo a success.

New YouTube content has been created with affiliated sites offering sign up discounts on first purchases, we had our first Twitch stream of Hearthstone as well which was a success, also looking at creating some new content for our YouTube channel myself after practising with my few videos, so hopefully that will take off more as time goesby and Podcasts are the works, making us a fully fledged member of the gaming journalism world.

On the BiPolar side of things stuff is starting to look up for once, my medication has been altered once again and slowly but surely I'm getting back to my old self minus any sort of confidence, No longer does Risperidon rain havoc on my morning route making me one squishy faced tired sleepy head and with my Venlafaxine being upped I'm a lot more chirpier than normal, give it two more months and I'll be off Risperidone completely and it'll just be Venlafaxine and Sodium Valproate.

I'm starting to look at my diagnosis as a huge blessing in surprise, going from a hollow shell of a man with the idea and desire to write but no drive to do it and I've gone from starting a blog to working at a new company bring news and reviews to the masses, I'm completely overwhelmed by the experience especially when you have publishers and developers thanking you for the great review and quoting you in the tweet.

This quote being ' Final thoughts, I want a purple cat now' as Schrodingers Cat was a game that would have gone completely under my radar , I'm so happy it didn't though as I had a huge amount of fun with that game as well as a swift 850 gamer score to add to my now 88500 plus gamer score.

Ive neglected my Xbox One recently and playing the Smite Beta and others has made me re kindle my passion for gamer score, I might love my PS4 more but nothing will beat the gamer score, trophies just don't have the same appeal to me, even though I still try my balls off to get them.

I'm going to look at starting my Gunman Clive play through soon and finish that part of my life and story and start something new.

I'm working on a new Let's play about Donkey Kong at the minute. I Have the content I just need to find the time to edit and do it, hopefully once I start to get abit of structure in my day I can focus on getting my working life and content in check and keep on top of it.

So onwards and upwards, everything changing for the better, its just taking time.
I never thought I would feel like this 3 months ago and 3 months before that I never thought I would feel again.

My adventure is still new but growing every day and I hope you enjoy my little story today.

Also I got a sweet Dragonball tattoo on my fore arm with Kid Goku flying Nimbus around the 2 and 6 star Dragonball signifying the day I was born on, meaningful and all that jazz.

Koi Koi

Caleb ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

Bipolar Adventures.

As i sit in an agitated and bored state i thought of you, you got me through hard times and made me feel like i had a voice when no one would listen to anything i'd say and i thank you for that blogspot!

Now i haven't forgot about you at all, just new adventures and my addiction to Minecraft make it hard to find spare time to write about you, but never fear i did today.

My life is starting to turn into the American time zone at the minute, working for an American company is hard work especially when it comes to editing and reviewing games, i feel like i spend a lot of my time waiting and constantly surfing the web for news stories to write about and then spending the next hour making sure every little detail is true, prices for games, images, videos, special editions, release dates, the publisher and developer involved and the hype surrounding that game.

So far I've covered mostly newly released titles and the dates/editions that will be coming out, Devil May Cry 4 being my first, then Assassins Creed Syndicate and Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege.

I wrote a new article on remastered games again touching on what i discussed on my blog before but went into more detail about the stats and performance of the games new release, instead of disagreeing with them completely i posed an argument for one success story, one game we all wish to be remade and one that seems doomed from the go and asked about the readers thoughts, safe to say no one has voiced an opinion yet which is disappointing as id love to talk to some new people about up and coming releases.

But all in all i absolutely love what I'm doing, the team at The Nerd Stash have been more than happy to help me as i start my new adventure and things seem to be going really well at the minute, I'm treating it like a full time job and want to give it my absolute 100 percent even if that does mean staying awake till 6am to be in keeping with their time zone.

Fell free to read my review of Wolfenstein:The Old Blood and My article on Remastered games by clicking on the highlighted text.

So things have changed a lot, hopefully for the better, 5 months ago I couldn't read, speak, form an opinion or anything due to the amount of drugs i was on to calm me down and stop me from trying to pull my arms off, sadly that arm part is 100 percent true, I've learned to be super open with my Bipolar and just leave it on the table free for discussion cause I'm no different from anyone else in the world.

Sorry if I'm rambling, I'm just kind of venting what words i have in my head for the internet to read, because people do read these believe it or not, I know right, crazy! But hopefully i can help someone that feels like they can't deal with life anymore and show them that there is positive things in life and you'll always get through.

I started this adventure with no clue in where it would go and now I'm writing for a website about games and thats like a dream come true for me, who knows where ill be in 1 years time. IGN perhaps. thats the dream!

Well thank you to everyone that did or didn't read this and i hope you enjoy what little things i have to offer on this lovely Friday.

Koi Koi

Caleb - ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

Wolfenstein: The Old Blood Review

Sorry about the silence on the blog from I entered self inflicted exile to play and review Wolfenstein: The Old Blood for the nerd stash and it took a lot longer than I thought it would getting use to there style and keeping my review up to scratch unlike my normal comical overviews of my experience with the game, so please take the time to look at the website, everyone works really hard to try and keep up to date with all the news and keeping up to date with all the happenings in the world of nerds!

So come take a look http://thenerdstash.com/wolfenstein-old-blood-review/

I hope you enjoy everything that we are trying to bring to the table and I'm excited to move forward with this new adventure, even if the american time zones are fucking up my sleeping patterns! damn being 6 hours in the future.

Koi Koi

Caleb ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

The start of something new #Thenerdstash

Don't be put off by the title, I'm not stopping the blog at all. I've recently been trying to progress my portfolio, hopefully over the next couple of days I'll be able to share my new experience with you as I should be doing some freelance writing for a cool new website called www.thenerdstash.com An American based haven for all things games, technology and nerd, as it says in the title.

Check back soon.

I recently was in talks with there editor in chief Jeremy Harris and I'm excited to say that I should be starting pretty soon, so look out for my new posts on their website aswell as updated blog posts from ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Some things that I've got to work on is probably my potty mouth, grammar and punctuation, basic understanding of the English language would probably go down quiet well also.

So things are looking on the up for me at the minute. Not only is bipolar life starting to get better with new adventures starting everyday hopefully over the next month all my medication should be sorted out after 6 months and I'll be on the up and up.

So there's another small update of things going down in my little bubble.

I look forward to sharing another chapter of my strange little life with everyone.

Koi Koi

Caleb - ManicallyDepressed-ModeratleyFunny.

That awkward 20%

I went through a phase of trying to finish my ever growing list of titles I have yet to complete, it's safe to say that phase is over and I'm in the '20' percent phase.

He suffered the wrath of 29%

This is a place where you put in enough hours to start the game and invest a significant amount of hours growing your character to a good enough level to no longer feel a complete noob but still a fair distance away form being something unstoppable.

I named it this as my ps4 trophy list is slowly filling with titles sitting around that mark.

Some lucky, others not so.

FarCry 4 falling into that now troubled group of games, it wasn't lucky enough to stay on my shelf, Will i keep playing? Have I seen enough. Ive done like 29 percent of the complete game, I think I'll trade it in, if i want to finish it I'll get it at another point.

Unity fell next at 24%

Assassins Creed Unity - Hey Edward or mmmm Ezio. nope uhhhhhh Conway ? Altair. How invested am I right now, 24 percent. Ive seen enough to call it a day I think, worse case scenario I'll buy it when its cheap.

This is a problem I keep falling into.

Borderlands The pre sequel - 31% (close enough)
Lego Batman 3 Beyond Gotham - 27%
Dying Light - 21%
The Last of Us - 2 Play throughs - 10%

Don't even get me started on the under 10% games I currently have started either.

Does anyone else suffer this problem where you start something new, put a few hours in, get invested only to change to something else and fear going back to that game?

Maybe Dying Light just shit me up enough to keep me from going back to it as night time is something else.

I started it and 2 hours later it was 100% done.

Sometimes It means I finish a bunch of games at the same time, most times it means I trade them in un finished for something else. Thank God for PS Plus or i would own no titles at all these days.

Still this hasn't stopped the problem from happening I just own titles I want to play that I know ill never get round to at the minute like Never Alone and Abe's Odyssey. Why not just start them? Because Batman will suffer the wrath of trade in value next and I want to try Platinum that one as its seems rather easy.

I was all on track to publish this article two days ago, i was on a role and then out of nowhere came the urge to play Minecraft, maybe it was all that Achievement Hunter that id been watching? so i downloaded it, so i owned it forever, I phoned my brother and said get on that hype and he joined me.

That was two days ago and Batman is now in that fucking pile I'm talking about with the Pre Sequel and Dying Light, I won't trade them in as I'll get The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt on May 19th and my world will come to a full stop.

I always maintained it was like a drug and it really is!

You'll be happy to know Minecraft is at 52percent so far,
so its held my attention for the most amount of hours anything has in a long time, maybe since Super Smash Bros Wii U.


Anyway people let me Know if you struggle with that awkward 20 percent and enjoy your Friday.


Koi Koi

Caleb ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

The Idea of Olive oil. Random Ramblings.#83

A blank page is always the start of any creative day, Thoughts. Words, Text, they all come next, in what form, well thats all part of the fun I guess. You never know.

Bit extreme but olive oil is dangerous.

I certainly have no clue what comes next, it all kinda comes spilling out......

Olive oil is the best way to explain it, stupid you say? chuck Olive oil on your floor and see how stupid you really are, then you'll understand. It goes everywhere, it takes different paths.

some BIG.

some small, you clean it up but it still keeps searching trying to find that next crack.

A lot like an idea. It just keeps growing till it can consume you, Im one of those people that lets himself get consumed by an idea, Mine are normally delude ideas of importance and success. A life I'm in control of from the point I wake to the point I sleep.

Reality is I'm a nervous, emotionally broken, unconfident, unsuccessful 'Think'aholic.

All of those titles I wear with pride at this moment in time because I'm still typing away, A diary one day.

That phone!

A review the next day.

An idea the next.

Olive oil at the weekends.

My new obsession and idea is higher education. A form of multimedia journalism to take this passion to the next level, a success story that can only grow in the eyes of the dreamer that dreamt it.

so my question to the anyman, other lady, lonely person, hyper active teenage and people that may or may not read this is what do you think of becoming a mature student?

Would you risk what sad story of minimal wage job you had to chase the idea of doing something more? Even a high end job, just to start a new career path and take a risk you otherwise might not.

I'm of two minds about it all, one part screams 'yes' try. Change. Become something more. The other side of me is full of self doubt. You can't. You won't. Your to old.

So here I'am now blogging away my stresses and seing if it sheds any light on the situation.

I'm also blogging from my iPhone 6 plus which is actually the fucking coolest and ever since yesterday my page was viewed 100 times which to me is an actual amazing acheivment that some people might be listening and reading and laughing or crying along with me.

Also that film though!

Let's hope I get some emails back from the uni near by. Let's hope a blog can become part of a portfolio for higher education. Let's see if I can take that dream and Make it a reality.

All it takes is baby steps and an idea to find out what you want to do and I've found mine.

Sorry it's not as related to games today but I haven't been playing a lot, hence the slow down in content.

I marathoned the Avengers Assemble, Captain America. The winter solder and the new Age of Ultron  at the midnight release which was a fun way to spend 8 hours of my day! Maybe that's why I drank so much coffee yesterday.

Koi Koi friends

Caleb Bateman - ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Coffee and Cigarettes

I currently have a very casual approach to life, I sleep between 12 and 18 hours a day.

What can I say, I love coffee and Cigarettes.

I take my medication when I'm suppose too, I chain smoke cigarettes and drinking black coffee like some cop from L.A.Noire.

I think about what I want from my life, I contemplate education, maybe something to do with writing? Creative perhaps? Journalistic, answering questions with questions,  never quiet getting round to answering them.


I'm unsure of so much.

Lego Batman takes some of the stress away. until I realise I need a million studs to unlock the x2 red brick and Ive just spent all my studs buying all the characters I can.

That's first world problems right there.

My problem is I'm trying to start so much, but Im never get around to finishing anything any more.

True story.

I started this blog, I'm certainly not ready to finish it. but what I am unsure of is where to go with it?!

I guess that's life. we all start it with the intention of it never ending, then it does. Be it a long time or a short time. You want to try and change as much as you can in that period of time you spend alive.

I'm certainly spending my days trying to change things, myself mainly.

This blog was a saviour, a blessing in disguise, an out for a very ill person to try get his thoughts into order. Now their in order I struggle to find them.

I run at a constant level of 'normal' and that bores me, never up, yet always down.

I find it hard to do the things I love so much, my passion somewhere else, hidden with that order.

Gone are the days I used to wake and write, gone are the days where my Mac was constantly on charge, gone are the days of my 3DS and Shovel Knight.

I need to try and change it all.

The location of said x2 stud counter.

This leads me to this blog, I kind of just picked my Mac up and started typing away. Unsure of what would happen, Time happens and over time ill people become better be it for the better or worse. That sounds horrible, normally for better, I just feel worse.

So today is the day I make an effort to blog again, to write about all those things I love and the things I love to do.

Maybe I will get back in to education and finish something for real

Or maybe ill just spend the day get that stud count up?!

Koi Koi

Caleb.

Remastered games - A must or a must not?

Now I keep seeing updates on Remastered games becoming available.

Just shut up and take my money.

I get the appeal, but are to many games trying to cash in on getting re released and getting that extra cash bump?

Now I can see certain titles falling into the category of 'must play', like the Last of Us, it was one of the reasons I brought my ps4 for, I would have never of experienced it on ps3 and missed that story and experience all together.

But do I need a Darksiders 2 remastered? No.

I suppose its a bit of a double edged sword and an argument you can't really win or lose, you can have an opinion and everyone is welcome to theirs even if its wrong in my eyes.

I just feel as the days go by, this console cycle has turned into a somewhat remastered hash machine, now aren't we suppose to be pushing the limits with the games publishers are developing at the minute and getting new games?

10 out of 10 would play.

Saying all this though I've fallen into the trend myself, mostly out of there not really being many games to choose from these days.

My PS4 being somewhat an Indie machine.

I said I wouldn't get Borderlands The Handsome Collection and I did, this was justified by not playing the Pre Sequel and its DLC and never playing the Borderlands 2 DLC, this made sense to me, a game I could also coop with my girlfriend and play casually over time dropping in and out whenever I played it.

Then we come to Saints Row IV, this being an odd title that I brought and played for 5 hours, I think I was trying to scratch my Sunset Overdrive itch and couldn't quite reach it so thought that would work, I was wrong. £25 wrong.

I have all the intent to go back to it at some point in the future again dropping in with a very casual approach to the game, a few hours of mayhem then back to the daily grind called life.

When it comes to value for money though some games just absolutely kill it and they are very hard to ignore like the Halo Master Chief Collection, but even games held in such high prestige suffer the downside of never working properly online from day one, so much so early adopters of the game through the months of November and December will also be getting the Halo ODST campaign free of charge when its released later in the year.

Can't wait!

I guess you can't argue with die hard fans and there hands full of 'Shut up and take my money' cash.

I don't know where I stand on this argument, I see both sides, I agree with both sides, I guess I just want the remastered games I want and not others, I can understand the appeal of Halo 2 Remastered, the Games completely different,  you can see the huge change its gone through and what you can do with ten years of updated tech, but I find it hard to see the appeal in a Devil May Cry and Dark Souls 2 rehash when the games are both over a year old.

Is it just me or do other people feel this way about certain games and feel the smaller teams and resources used could have been distributed better?

Koi Koi to another ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny blog

P.s I'm seing Bladerunner at the cinema tonight :O

Caleb

It's only been 2 f*****g weeks!

So this is one long overdue blog thats taken me two weeks to even start writing, I couldn't tell you why I got out of the habit, Ive started to be able read again, my interest in books has gone through the roof, so the time I normally spend in the morning blogging over coffee has turned into a reading hour.

Such a quality read!

Now when I say I've started to be able to read again its not that I forgot 'how' to read its just that my brains been so scrambled I found it incredibly hard to retain anything, I'd read a page and forget a page at the same time. Fucking frustrating to say the least!

But alls well and good in that vain now so Iread through Andrzej Sapkowski's second Witcher novel Time of Contempt, A quality read for anyone who likes a rich fantasy world full of politics, conspiracy, sex, violence and bad language.

My times also being occupied by a few games, My ps4 getting more playtime than ever at the minute,  The free running zombie fest Dying Light and Borderlands The Handsome Collection being my main two go to games!

The story of Dying Light is a sad one, after hours of trying and failing to get into Majora's Mask it met its match in Game for a trade in value of £35. One day i'll revisit it but for now it just wasn't doing it for me. Dying Light being its replacement, hardly a sad tail worthy of shedding a tear over.

Now I don't know if I have ever gone into details about my hobbies and likes, It obviously clear that Video games is my thing, it has been since my Megadrive days. crying at the fact I couldn't get Super Sonic, that bastard was bright yellow!

I really did cry.

I'm your typical geek, I have little to no friends, I'm becoming more overweight as the days go by, I read comics and have a love affair for anything Ed Brubaker writes, 'Sleeper' being my favourite comic I've ever read.

I love Music, I have a moderate collection of Vinyls I've collected over the last year or so.

Some of my favourite albums and also classics like Led Zeppelin III and Jimi Hendrix's Are you Experienced.

My blu ray or as I call them Uh Blay collection is now 150 strong, I try and visit the cinema as much as I can in my spare time.

Luigi's Grand Outing

We decided that playing Super Luigi U would be a fun idea, considering I'm damn awful at Mario platformers I decided to get over my fear of death and failure and take Luigi on a grand day out in his stand alone title Super Luigi U.

What i came to learn very fast was that Luigi in fact enjoyed dying twice as much as Mario.

This video shows a hour of struggles condensed into a 11 minute video, I hope you enjoy it as I'm really enjoying creating YouTube content, Low views aside I do it for the sense of achievement it brings to know every day I'm away from work I'm still achieving things i thought i could never do, so be kind. leave some comments, like the video and subscribe if you like what you see, It would be greatly appreciated as I currently have 1 subscriber! better than none but still 1, ha.

Have a great day and i look forward to sharing more content with you soon,

Manic Army

Caleb

How about a nice cup of LiberTea?!

Todays blog update comes in the form of more YouTube content, Its starts of as a quick overview of Helldivers mechanics and core gameplay which then turns into friendly fire deaths and mechs crushing each other in a tight city map.

I should be recording some more content on Sunday swell which should be ready for Tuesday or Monday depending on the amount of material i get, so sit back, grab a coffee and watch an angry person swear at his friend a lot when it gets down to gameplay. I believe the term 'You fucking bellend' gets dropped a lot.

Thank you for your continued support as my blog continues to grow and lose followers.

Manic Army

Caleb. ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

I blame torchlight 2.

The main Culprit.

Now Ive realised my content is starting to slow down yet again. Its gone from 7 days a week, to 5 and now between 3 and up, firstly I'm going to blame this on the combined 28 hours I've clocked on Helldivers and Torchlight 2 over this weekend.

The need to power level to level 100 is very real, 20 hours deep and currently sitting with a level 40 berserker I itch to play more.

Secondly Ive just really been struggling through out the bulk of the day to do anything, often choosing to sleep the days away and wake up late afternoon when people are around as I get terribly lonely, Most of my writing used to take place between 8am -12pm so I'm sleeping through the time I used to use to create content.

Ive been thinking about having certain days for certain types of blog,

Mondays to be game related, reviews, My thoughts on something and general discussions on the gaming world at large.

Wednesdays for my continued blogs of lets plays and other content similar to failing at a game I
choose to play.

Fridays for Overviews of the week, what I'm looking forward too, the next big release and also giving me more time in the week to right a better quality of blog.

Better than some slapped together, rushed piece of crap I force myself to publish, which i don't want to do.

Also allowing time for shooting and recording YouTube content and editing it together which also takes some time to do I might add.

This was meant to be fun and slightly informative to the people that read it, sarcastic and moderately funny, weather any of that is true I really don't know but I like to think people smile a little, its also helped me a lot to distract myself through a very troubling and hard period in my life, being diagnosed as bipolar and the struggles that come with finding the right medication and support to help you get back on track has not been a quick fix or easy task, now getting close to my 5th month out of work.

So this blog has saved my life a little recently as its done its job in distracting me a lot as Ive published over 50 blogs in total now which I'm proud of.

So I thought id just explain where I am and if there has been a dip in quality that's why, my enthusiasm still there but sometimes my depression getting in the way and taking the desire to do anything away from me.

I'm really hoping that slowing it down a step gets me back into the swing of things.

Manic Army

Caleb

I wrote this when i was half asleep

If my job was to blog, I would definitely be getting fired at some point soon.

This caption is self explanatory.

I spent the whole day playing Hell divers, via ps4 remote play, using my buddies PSVita as the second controller, another excellent feature for the ever cool PS4.

Now I must admit Hell divers went completely under my radar.

I'm not actually sure how I managed to miss it? but oh man is it fun, a blend of Starship Troopers, ODST and Command and Conquer.

You command one 'Hell diver', you drop into unknown territory to blow up a bug nest, bugs being 10 foot tall super bugs or drop off a black box to a safe point in the jungle, even multiple objectives per level which then leads to a 90 second skirmish at the evacuation point while you wait for your drop ship to come and save the day.

You spend this 90 seconds hoping some big ugly mother doesn't finish you off before you extract.

4 player Coop, Much fun. Many kills. Wow.

Playing solo grows old quite quick as the difficulty is ramped up and the rewards become less relevant to you, this leads me to the SOS call stratagem which you can call I'm at any point in your game, this then prioritises your game and your need for help as up-to 3 other Hell divers can dive in and join the fun, be it three friends or three complete strangers everyone seems keen to help when saving the world is at hand.

Another cool feature is that you control where your drop zone is, be it on top of the objective which is closer to the danger or a small distance away so you can plot your course more strategically avoiding enemy patrols and taking a more stealthier approach.

This game offers something for everyone. Mech suits, or Flame throwers, stun grenades to airstrikes
or even the simple shotgun or SOS call, your unit calls in certain stratagems to level the odds and bring the pain to one of the 3 enemies types in total.

Mech suit Fun.

My current favourite mix being Heavy armour, lazer machine gun and a Mech suit for all out combat with that extra punch, UAV's for bitches why worry where the enemy is when you can just kill everything in sight?

And that's what happened to my Friday blog, It got turned into 5 Hours of Bro fists and Redbull intake.

A day of Gaming for once at a relaxed pace and little to none depressed mood swings, also I brought Torchlight 2 on steam for 2.99, 2.99!!!!!! That's 80% off. boom, wow!

Manic Army

Caleb.

Can the obvious Order 1886 sequel pull an Assassins Creed 2? The Order 1887 anyone?!

So today I finished The Order 1886.

I'm just going to stand and look cool as fuck.

It was one pretty game but I started to get strangely bored of the combat, hell, Id started to get a little tired of everything by the end of my 6-8 hour run through.

I was interested in the Characters, slightly intrigued into the story and what was unfolding around me and then all of sudden I lost it, It had started to feel like walk from pretty A to pretty B and kill swarms of dumb A.I Englishmen whilst crouching behind a chest high wall or pillar, so many fucking pillars.

This mechanic never normally fails me, Gears of War being a prime example, I couldn't get enough of Marcus Fenix and his adventure for steroids. Galahad on the other hand had the difficulty changed from hard to easy on the last few chapters just so I could churn through this crap fest and finish it.

We will hit you Galahad, you shit.

Not my proudest moment, but I wanted that Gold trophy and to see what it was all about. Id grown tired of rooms filling with shotgun toting Englishmen and wanted some form of closure.

Somewhere in the middle it all got a bit much for me and Galahad, when he decided it was rampage time around chapter 9. This is when the game started to get bit muddled up, until that point I was as happy as a pig in shit.

Lets hope the obvious sequel pulls an Assassins Creed 2 and blows every ones mind. The transition from AC to AC2 went from average game to amazing and really concreted my love for that game, until all the rest came out and my interest started to dwindle again.

What do I want to see? well luckily I made an average list of things I want, cause you know, my opinion is Law. ha

• More Open World game play, Not a GTA V open world experience but I atlas want to feel like I'm making my mind up on how to get to my destination.
• More London and less Catacombs.
• Let me feel like a bad ass trained knight of the Order, not just a man that can drink a potion when he gets shot and feel better, that's almost as bad as a pat on the back.
• Tracking Collectibles, I missed some, I don't know where or on what level so I have to play the whole game again to get the last 4 achievements and platinum the game, I'm not happy about this! 
• More Lycans, You'll understand when you play the game.
• A tiny bit more colour to the pallet please, was almost impossible to play the game with the light on.
• More awesome science guns.
• Customisable moustache and facial hair, also the ability to stop and groom or oil beard in mirrors.

The foundations have been played, a world created, characters introduced and a conspiracy at hand, so lets see what they can do next.

feel the sadness!

I have Faith, flashes of pure third person genius happened from time to time so whats stopping them from Acing their second outing. 

At first I couldn't see where the average reviews where coming from?! I thought it harsh to score such a pretty game a 65 Metacritic, but like life teaches you looks aren't everything. But as time went by it became more apparent as combat grew old and story less interesting.

All criticism aside though its the first game Ive finished in a long time, due to illness and my lack of concentration at the minute. My brief return to work for 3 weeks distracted me, only to be signed off by the doctors again thanks to a medication change that isn't happening very fast at all.

Also the music ends halfway through the credits, I wonder if they thought no one would be sad enough to sit through them all, well I am.

Never fear though! PlayStation plus is here to save the day with 3 free PS4 games, make that 4. Ive already finished the heart wrenching feels fest that is Valiant Hearts

Firstly we have the annoyingly addictive Olli Olli 2 Welcome to Olliwood, I'm worse than awful at this game but I can see it being right up my brothers street.

Tasty indeed.

Secondly we have the uber stylish archer look a like Counterspy, I'm excited for this one as I've wanted to play this game for quiet some time now.

Last but not least we have New n Tasty- Oddworld: Abes Odysee, It already reminds me of my childhood and trying to play the game with little success. 

So a packed month this time around for me as a PS4 owner, Lets see how many games I can finish this month and not just start them.

Manic Army

Caleb, ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Also remember to check out my YouTube content https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCllx1-z8fVljqoOqJ41iw-Q

Mount your Friends! Its fun.

Todays post comes in the form of another video.

We had a quick game of Mount your friends and this was the end result, an amazing game for 0.59p.

As silly as it may look its a very intense and hard to master game.
Incredibly competitive with hilarious dick swinging mechanics its a joy to play and watch.

I hope you enjoy the content that I'm creating.

sorry about the sporadic times Im posting content, I keep on deciding to sleep all day, resulting in late posts, I think I may have annoyed what small following of people I had reading as My read rate has dropped by like 70 percent recently, I don't know why?

Anyway back to the YouTube video, Enjoy.

Manic Army

Caleb, ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.


Please subscribe and like as it means the world.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCllx1-z8fVljqoOqJ41iw-Q

Gunman Clive Part 4

I see how annoying that could be now.

STAGE 11

Dick just threw a bottle at me!

Not an actual dick, just this dick cowboy.

I celebrate by catching the bottle and jumping into the abyss, popping the cork in tandem like I'm part of the champagne circus. (35)

Dick just got me again! Again the cowboy, not a dick.

Swinging platforms 'Tarzan' me too safety, away from the PeliCANS and PeliCANTS

These damn Tarzan swinging platforms cause me problems as I fall to my death again, Are these holes just never ending? Are they dug to the centre of the earth?! One weird layed out country if you ask me! (36)

Tarzan, Professional Swinger.

I kill him this time, Learning.

Jumping into the air when a platforms moving. Not learning!

Stupid fucking peliCAN (38) (39) 

I don't wait, I miss time this Tarzan swing, I die once a fucking gain! (40) (41) (42) (43)

Its that PeliCANT that won't let me pass, like some flying feathered Gandalf.

Turns out that bastard last jump was the end of the level, 74 seconds of swinging jumps, I let my anger recede like the ocean and move on to      
stage 12.

Bouncy mushroom or mushroom trip? Ask Clive.

STAGE 12

Is that a bouncy mushroom? That's a bouncy fucking mushroom.

Standard cowboy mushroom, I think Clive's eaten one to many mushrooms today, that would be an interesting turn of events if it was all a mushroom induced trip.

I mushroom bounce into that familiar abyss once fucking more! (44) (45) 

The jump mechanic of this mushroom is actually that stressful I want to stop playing (46)

This can only get worse as I imagine half the level will be awful mushroom jumps. (47)

I do it, only to be denied by a  peliCANT (48) Its okay now, I've figured out the awful mushroom jump mechanic.

Army Ducks. Adorable, Deadly.

Now ducks are flying in back up troops, adorable, but now it adds another layer to the fight, land and air combat, I'm not ready for this!

What did I say, mushroom jumps, God damn. FUCK! I curl my toes in absolute fucking anger.

156 seconds. Thank fuck for that that.

UNLUCKY STAGE 13

I jump onto a platform, a platform that tilts all the way to the left and dumps me into the cold abyss (49) Lets try sprint across it next time.

You rock! rock pun.

Nope. (50)

Looks like I can make it across if I jump it, I successfully jump through but lose two bars of health against some bullet sprinkler.

Hello sprinkler and rock monster, how are you today?

I roll across a gap onto the back of a giant platform and into the final section of stage 13, 1 bar of health left, I'm ready to die.

I have to run on a giant boulder like some kind of Flintstone, I do this as eloquently as a brick (51)
through a glass window, running straight off the boulder and into some spikes below

I'm over this level right now, I just want it to end!

I cruise through with some serious pace, next challenge is a spinning ledge, jumping from one side to the next as it lifts me higher in the air and onto the next platform, I slide down it like a fireman's pole and die once again

(52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59)

Once may have been an understatement.

When I say I die this much I genuinely mean it, I can't fucking do this today!

(60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65)

I'm over it today, I choose to put the 3DS down instead of leaving it under a car tyre. fucking Clive.

Manic Army

Caleb ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

<----------- Check my new YouTube Content

Follow my Twitter - https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

This week in words, YouTube.

After last weeks less than stellar content turn around I went on a busy spree recording videos .

So i have what I think maybe two or three new videos depending on how good the last 50 minutes of content is.

So this week I shall be dropping some more video content than ever plus more of Gunman Clive's adventures.

Probably more Bipolar medical updates, content was short last week from me having the flu and then going into a very horrible depressive stage where I didn't wash for two weeks, wasn't eating and slept for three whole days. not fun for anyone!

Sorry if I'm abit to honest about my illness but its always been part of my blog, ever since I started writing these small crayon scribblings, so I like to keep the continuity up.


So please kick back and enjoy my content, please like and subscribe, share between friends and family and make a depressed soul happy.

The thought of making people laugh is what keeps me going.

I think thats everything.

Stay till the end!

Manic Army,

Caleb, ManicallyDepressed-Moderately Funny.

Youtube Channel-
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCllx1-z8fVljqoOqJ41iw-Q

Never fear The Order 1886 is here.

My red velvet curtains.

Hello, long time no Blog!

Just spent the best part of a week or two getting over super flu!

Probably the sickest I've been in years in all honesty, it was rubbish. No games were played, no Blogs were written, nothing was done apart from sleeping and trying to sleep, but NEVER fear I'm feeling a little better, so today I write from a moderately tidy room with the curtains open and its not even 8 am.

I must be sick.

Ive been on a mad downward spiral recently and been in and out of doctors and hospitals having heart scans and blood tests to make sure my body can handle the new mood stabilisers i'll be put on soon.

So that's been my week in and out of doctors and hospitals, having meetings and scans, blood tests and speaking to people about my illness, its been pretty shitty being forced to relive all those horrible moments and explain them for the 100th time when all I want to do is move past it.

People draw super saiyan lycan beasts.

I did manage to grab a copy of The Order 1886, I'm enjoying my play through so far, I managed chapter 1-10 in my first sitting before I succumbed to the need for sleep. and my PS4 kept switching off. True Story.

Knowing the game is only 16 chapters long has stopped me from playing it since, as I don't want it to end, once its done the game becomes redundant, no multiplayer, no 'Lycan' mode, just a quick run through to clean up on the last few trophies and then back to Games shelf.

Sad life cycle but the only one it will get, I can imagine by this weekend Game and CEX will be mostly built up of second hand copies of a game every bodies finished, I would mostly be building forts out of all my copies if I could.

Touch my Moustache, no joke. FUCKING TOUCH IT.

Then there's the bundles that will no doubt appear left right and centre trying to sell the game some more to make up for its incredibly average Metacritic score of 65. not that Metacritic should matter, make your own minds up!

Making the game an Amber.

luckily for the guys and gals at Ready At Dawn the game is the most incredible thing my eyes have ever seen on a screen, multiple times I've stopped watching a cut scene and stood for overly long periods of time before I realise the game is in fact in motion.

This and my hunger for moustached characters Im very happy with what I've played so far, I know my journeys about to end but hopefully they do an Assassins Creed 2 and make a sequel thats one of the best titles released on the last generation console.

His blade is taking his spine for a ride.

Hopefully i can find my missing notebook of ideas and drafts and be back on the blog hype as of next week, sorry again for illness but I've been so depressed and out of it I nearly quit my job and become a farmer, true story.

Manic Army

Caleb -ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

Twitter-
https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

I have flu

So if anyone's wondering why I haven't posted much recently its because I am rather Ill with the flu at the minute.

Most of my time has just been spent catching up on sleep and coughing til i nearly throw up. 

Sorry if people are missing my ramblings. I'll get back too it soon.

Manic Army 

Caleb 

Apotheon Review - Nappy Edition

APOTHEON

Truth be told I've been in a Zelda trance these last few days.

Fiery beginnings.

This ended when I got tired of dying on the final boss of A Link Between Worlds.

So today I switch on my ps4 kick back with a coffee and decide it's go time for Alientrap games Inc's APOTHEON this months free PS Plus game, which looks like it should be painted on the side of a pot.

Greek style.

The main gist of the story is you've been abandoned by the Gods, and shits gone bad, people are pillaging and destroying buildings.

My adventure starts as I wake up after a brief lay down on the floor and everything is on fire, Raiders pillaging the burning shells of houses, its now my job to help out the villagers.

My name is Nikandreos and I'm a helpaholic!

What a shell house might look like.

My basic controls involve X for the ability to jump.

I can pick up items with the Square.

Roll away from danger with the O.

I can drink potions to heal myself with ∆.

I intimidate my foes by punching in their general direction with the R2

I throw stuff at peoples head when you tap R1

I wield the power of my giant shield with L2

and can change my shield for a torch with L1

<----> on the D pad move between your weapons, potions and throwable objects.

Like he said he's a helpaholic with simple controls to help you along the way.

The game is mostly built up of oranges, reds, blacks and yellows again keeping in with the greek aesthetic and feels a lot like Guacamelee in Olympus, Your typical bad character wears a red nappy and your friends wear blue nappies, everything is set up in a neat and tidy manor.

Have a Guacamelee good time.

Its very smooth and quick to use, I love the way it doesn't clutter up your screen with over complicated customisation options making it easier to calculate an attacking or defensive play

Theres a lot of choice of combination of weapons and armour you unlock as you play through the game, slowly pimping your character as you work your way through tasks, feeling like a hack and slasher at first the game offers more than meets the eye the further you progress into the story

Sure it was.

The game has a beautiful art design, fun interactive world and a story involving Greek Gods, Sign me the fuck up.

I decide that every pot needs to die as I get Greek 'Link' on there ass smashing everything in sight

The first set of missions revolve around you helping the distressed villagers, Once you save the Apothecary he shows you how to craft items, handy.

At the Blacksmiths house you acquire a shield and leather armour, basic but its a start.

I then decide its time to scare the hunters as I destroy everything in there hideout, they take the time to teach you how to throw objects ranging from javelins to bows, knives and greek Molotov's. Fiery

Next the granary for a nice fresh cut loaf, Thats a lie, I have to stop them from taking all the grain as supplies are short and demand is high. This is a simple task for a helpful nappy wearing murder machine.

He then takes an arrow to the knee.

Last but not least I need to rescue some prisoners, I'm taking it that these are freshly captured villagers and not rapists and murders or they can just stay there and rot.

After saving the day and completing all the objectives its time to mess up there leader lovingly named Ophion the tyrant, I decide the best thing to do is cleave him in two with my big shiny axe.

Now thanks to my axe happy chopping arm I'm declared the modestly named 'Chosen Champion'

As I stand before Hera, Zeus's wife, she turns me into an absolute boss, informing me that Zeus is being a little bitch and screwed everyone over like a child throwing his toys out the pram, Its now my job to strip all Gods of there power, Zeus included and ascend to the next level of Badass. offering salvation to my people along the way!

Its not as easy as I first thought, Zeus runs such a tight shift, if you 'Link' any of the surrounding smash able objects guards demand you pay Zeus or die, a lot like Skyrim.

Time to turn Zeus into my little bitch I think

Manic Army

Caleb.

Does anyone else punch themselves?

I punch myself.

Dat frustration.

It sounds completely bonkers to say out load but when my skills start to become questionable, my frustrations running high and my patience at its lowest I thump myself in the leg, sometimes once, sometimes multiple times.

Like some strange pavlovian conditioning technique, I discipline myself by unleashing unholy wrath upon my leg.

I've started to notice parts of me are more yellow than the original milky white colour they where before.

Gunman Clive is driving me bonkers, a clear contender for speed runs, it times every stage, secretly judging you after every complete level, I don't feel the need to go back and better myself, doing it is 'better' enough for me.

Link rage.

I've noticed it more and more as the weeks have past, the first time I punched myself I was Link, too anyone thats played a Zelda game its clear you've all felt that frustration, be it the whole of Phantom Hourglass or first puzzle in Spirit Tracks Zelda rage is very true.

As I've mentioned in another Zelda related blog, not being able to find that missing treasure chest is enough to go crazy.

First I kinda shake a little like Im telling myself 'did you really just do that'?!

Secondly I keep my calm and do it again.

Thirdly I try and rush my way there and die at an earlier point.

Fourthly I tell myself to calm down or I won't be able to do it.

Fifthly I close my 3DS lid only to open it seconds later like I didn't admit defeat

and if Im lucky enough to get to the sixth time and Beyond I thump my leg, like I said it could be once but I think the maximum amount of times its happened is in the five plus region.

Imagine the nail in my leg.

I used to do it when I was alone like it was my dirty little secret, then I did it in front of someone to just hear 'what are you doing' in a condescending tone.

Then I started doing it in public, when I was blogging about Clive I should say, if you've played that game you've felt my pain.

I don't know if anyone saw me raging away in the corner like I was putting up a picture. Only i'm hammering the nail in my leg with my fist.......also missing the picture.

Then it all gets foggy as I stop playing weather I've succeeded or not, normally not doing it and leaving it for another day, turning my 3DS into a useless powered brick for a few days.

I'm sure its normal.

Manic Army

Caleb ManicallyDepressed-ModearatelyFunny.

<----- Check out my YouTube video also and Subscribe for more

ManicallyDepressed-ModeratleyFunny
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCllx1-z8fVljqoOqJ41iw-Q

Online Diary, Day 1 - Bipolar Zelda.

Sorry if I got anyone's hopes up with that title I posted last week, whilst I was on the speculation train I thought it only fair to stop off at platform 3 and a Half-Life.

Ready to save the day, one crowbar at a time.

As long as people use Steam it's safe to say Half life 3 is a long way away.

It would be a nice thing to hear though wouldn't it, enough photo shop jobs on the Internet to make you think otherwise, My personal favourite being the 'Gabe' Half Life 3 image I used in that blog.

Talking of Steam I saw Tomb Raider for £2.99, absolute madness if you ask me!

Jumped aboard the Zelda train this morning, Spirit train for all you technical nerds out there, and brought a copy of Majora's Mask 3D, I then spent the whole day playing A Link Between Worlds. How odd?!

Only 2 of the seven sages left to collect, so its been a fun filled, dungeon questing day.

That adorable train!

I feel like I haven't released any proper content in a while even though I just edited content drop mark II 'I think I'm going to Spelunk"

Originally 45 minutes long I cut nearly 2/3 away to keep it in the 15 minute time frame YouTube allows.

Hopefully you'll be able to see the effort that went into making this one.

A different experience from the first video, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

Not sure what the next video will be of and when it'll be recorded but hopefully it'll happen in the next week or two as Matt's one busy bee, I could always try being funny alone but that's just a scary thought.

Its not that scary.

Matt's also my partner in crime when it comes to creating content!

Has this become an online diary for me at the minute as I've lost any sort of direction I once had, I think it has a little, do I just stop 2 months into this project?

FUCK NO.

Documenting the mind of a Bipolar gamer and all the content he tries to create was always the idea of this blog, To do it for me, to prove I can do things no matter how scary they may seem.

My biggest anxiety actually coming from people knowing its me, Its amazing how your views can change in such a short period of time.

Now I want people to know it's me.

Create content! If not for others then for yourselves, it's rewarding to see what you can create from nothing.

I also got my Diagnosis back today from the doctor so I have an official piece of paper saying I have Bipolar disorder, its sad and scary to read about spots of amnesia and memory lapses I suffered from being so far down the rabbit hole.

Next step is treatment so after some blood tests and heart scans they will be able to move me over from an anti psychotic to a mood stabiliser, either Lithium or Valproate.

Hears to the next big step in this crazy new year.




Oh and here's what we created!

Subscribe to the YouTube -
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Follow the Twitter - https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

Manic Army

Caleb - ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny