The Binding of Isaac:Rebirth - Poo Edition

The only 'normal' image you'll see today.

Isaac lives with his Mother, his Mother hears a voice from above telling her to remove all evil from Isaac's room, she does this, even taking his pants in the process.

This voice tells her to lock Isaac in his room away from evil, she does this like any crazy voice hearing Mother would.

Turns out it's God, nice one God,

Hey Mother!

He finishes off this crazy Mother by telling her he needs a sacrifice, A sacrifice in the form of Isaac's dead limp body, sounds like a wonderful God to me.

Isaac runs away as his Mother now carries a knife, taking shelter in the cellar.

This is Isaac's story, told in Caleb's point of view.

So I'm doing this, late night, coffee on the go, I miss the challenge of indie developed arcade games, I hate them, but strangely enjoy the stress it brings.

sex face.

I choose Isaac as my loveable character.

I appear to be naked and crying, a lot like sex.

Move and shoot, that's all there is too it, wonderful, I'm not one for overly hard controls.

Room 1, 3 doors, One Gold, I'm not going in the gold one yet, I choose you door to the left, I confirm these details are corrected by making an L with my hands. People who know me should know this fact.

Nothing in this room, Right it is then.

I'm greeted by fly's and a Golden shit, I shoot everything including the shit, coins galore, I leave via door on the right once again.

Golden shit.

I think this game has pass codes as I just saw an 8 character code in the corner, Stress! Poo's with smiles on their faces, this games full of funny shit.

I walk through a scary door, this time greeted by Larry Junior,  a terrifying worm with a taste for Isaac flesh.

It's a fun filled maze built out of shit, inhabited by two giant spiky toothed man child eating worms, a lot of shit in Isaac's basement.
I kill them both with 1 heart to spare, still not looking forward to what will happen WHEN I die?

Basement II

Up or down? Down down as Lady Gaga once sang, I think?

Handsome-o

Double headed fly's this time and shit, sounds like a high class French restaurant, left's my only option, so left it is, Not much to look at. Headless kids throwing up blood, nice.

I use my key acquired after beating up Larry to go into the next room, It's full of cards. I don't get it.

Another scary looking boss room, Fuck that things horrible, Monstro, I can see where he adopted that name from, time to run and gun.

This fucker leaps and throws up blood (1)

I start again with nothing, what the shit? If its like that this is going to be one short lived blog series.

I run into a horrible room, worms throwing up blood (2)

Nightmare's back on the menu.

Faster than before with no signs of any progress. Damn it!

I run into a door that this time decides to bite me, then blow me up with bombs

I go into another room and pick up some bombs, I use said bombs figuring out the other button to use them in the process. Idiot

A spider kills me (3)

There's a head spider, nightmares tonight. I kill it and run the fuck away.

I eat dead onion and look like what I can only imagine bane to look like, with out the mask

Bane with out the mask.

Now I just look like I'm throwing up shit

Larry again, I make quick work of him, his weakness must be naked kids throwing up shit? I'd soon disappear if I saw that

Really big shits that turn into little shits. I'd rather try play Hotline Miami, at least when I was playing that you had a sense of progression like Shovel Knight, I feel like this is all for nothing.This games all skill and I have none!

I unlock a gold room,like the one I ignored at the start of the game, now becoming clear these are 'safe' rooms, now I have a little friend that's following me around.

He's as useless as my shit breath, actually I take that back, at least my shit breath is helping, he's not doing a thing

Crying babies with exploding heads cry and explode, Hello Monstro, we meet again, me with half a heart of health and you being a giant Monster head hell bent on death

crying exploding baby head.

Fuck it (4)

Seeds use the codes I mentioned at the start of the game to lock in a version of the world you've already run before, I'll try you again soon mother shitter

Koi Koi

Caleb