Aim low, the sky's the limit.

So why do this, what is 'This'

I don't know, shall I honestly just write a diary for the world to read, that's not interesting, everything needs substance, everything is built on something, with a purpose in mind, guess mine's going to be a blog heavily relying on spell check and no natural light, actually no fucking lights, light helps me see what I don't like and I don't like a lot.

Is it strange that I'm not actually thinking what I'm writing, I'm just writing?

What is a blog? Now I guess that can be the first barrier to break down. I have an idea but I don't actually know what defines and makes something a blog. You just make a page and post it and that's it, a blog right.

I could technically publish the word Cunt 200 times and that's a blog I guess, If I wrote that on a piece of paper and left it on the floor in the Tate Modern people would be hard pressed to define if that was art or not?

It's all subjective, in the eye of the beholder, has deeper meaning than that, really read into it. Nope, just a profanity on paper.

I told you it wouldn't be for everyone, I'm a hard sell. Like the football team metaphor.

Now I've forgotten to take my medicine but that happens most nights so I'll just keep on typing in the dark.

A quick trip to Google then wikipedia tells me all I need to know.

"A blog is a discussion or informational site published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete entries. Many blogs provide commentary on a particular subject. Others function as more personal online diaries, and others function more as online brand advertising of a particular individual or company. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic."

I'm an online brand. I've already said I tried to sell myself, even though I can't.

Now we have a definitive answer for said idea and subject or subjects full of matter, it should be an easy sell right? Would you buy an item that's bitter and past its sell by date, I thought not, so why would you want to read this?

I have no idea. I'm terrible with words, Like I said I'm not trying to write anything right now yet sentences form in front of me that are semi coherent and people tell me its okay. Or are my deluded realities and real life becoming one in the same so much so I'm making the compliments up?

I'm trying to be real. I'm 27, I'm lost in my life, I have a loving and supporting family and friends, I have a fiance who I've already told multiple times I'm going to ruin her life. I have a job, a part time one that is. I'm over weight, I spend too much money on games and I want Deus Ex so bad!

I have a diary, well I have three, one I can't find, one I found and you don't want to read or know any of the contents of those pages, why couldn't I have lost that one, the other one was kind of an idea book, like this new one, It's red, an angry colour for an angry person, I told myself to aim for the floor as you can't miss, I keep shooting myself in the foot, I think that's worse. Wise words from a complete idiot that I miss, But its true, I know they say The skies the limit, but technically doesn't the sky start at the floor too? like ground and then all of thee above is sky?

So this red diary has some pretty epic stuff in it, truly inspiring words to keep me motivated, I think I wrote "The day you come back down to earth is the day you get a job at McDonald's"

Beautifully obscure. Different, I want to stand for the person that doesn't fit in, the reminder that different is normal, who can truly define what is normal? sometimes I can't even define what weird shit I see. I have a psychiatrist, I must be doing a really good job because I'm on my fifth in 21 months. considering I see them once every 3 months, every time I open up the next visit I have a new one, I thought it was odd that I had to sign in on the wall in someone Else's shit.

I'll be the fist in the air, the voice of many, or the many voices I hear, don't tell the doctors though I might get told to go back.

We are all different and different is good, you are the person that will change the way the future is seen, that idea you had, that moment of clarity with ones self, that thought whilst driving, that will always be the first step to changing how you and the person around you lives your life. Become the change you want to see. If you think you can do it then do it, if you fall down just remember the sky starts at the ground. I see no definition for what is and what isn't sky.

Aim low, the sky's the limit.

My Twitter is @winslowbateman
My Instagram is www.instagram.com/fi5h5tick5/
also I have Twitch www.twitch.tv/fi5h5tick5/profile

I've figured out my first topic I will be looking at, so far It's been split into three posts, It's too fucking long, I started off by splitting into two because of the length, Not that you can put a length on perfection but I heard It's around three pages long.

Check the back catalogue, It's awful. But you can see me go from failing English and barely getting a C, having no understanding of writing, then this scramble of words you see in front of you.

Peace and Love.

Thanks for the feedback, hopefully people will come forward and start talking with me or just saying hello. who knows?

Till next time,

Caleb. FI5H5TICK5 and all the names in-between.

How about a nice cup of LiberTea?!

Todays blog update comes in the form of more YouTube content, Its starts of as a quick overview of Helldivers mechanics and core gameplay which then turns into friendly fire deaths and mechs crushing each other in a tight city map.

I should be recording some more content on Sunday swell which should be ready for Tuesday or Monday depending on the amount of material i get, so sit back, grab a coffee and watch an angry person swear at his friend a lot when it gets down to gameplay. I believe the term 'You fucking bellend' gets dropped a lot.

Thank you for your continued support as my blog continues to grow and lose followers.

Manic Army

Caleb. ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Can the obvious Order 1886 sequel pull an Assassins Creed 2? The Order 1887 anyone?!

So today I finished The Order 1886.

I'm just going to stand and look cool as fuck.

It was one pretty game but I started to get strangely bored of the combat, hell, Id started to get a little tired of everything by the end of my 6-8 hour run through.

I was interested in the Characters, slightly intrigued into the story and what was unfolding around me and then all of sudden I lost it, It had started to feel like walk from pretty A to pretty B and kill swarms of dumb A.I Englishmen whilst crouching behind a chest high wall or pillar, so many fucking pillars.

This mechanic never normally fails me, Gears of War being a prime example, I couldn't get enough of Marcus Fenix and his adventure for steroids. Galahad on the other hand had the difficulty changed from hard to easy on the last few chapters just so I could churn through this crap fest and finish it.

We will hit you Galahad, you shit.

Not my proudest moment, but I wanted that Gold trophy and to see what it was all about. Id grown tired of rooms filling with shotgun toting Englishmen and wanted some form of closure.

Somewhere in the middle it all got a bit much for me and Galahad, when he decided it was rampage time around chapter 9. This is when the game started to get bit muddled up, until that point I was as happy as a pig in shit.

Lets hope the obvious sequel pulls an Assassins Creed 2 and blows every ones mind. The transition from AC to AC2 went from average game to amazing and really concreted my love for that game, until all the rest came out and my interest started to dwindle again.

What do I want to see? well luckily I made an average list of things I want, cause you know, my opinion is Law. ha

• More Open World game play, Not a GTA V open world experience but I atlas want to feel like I'm making my mind up on how to get to my destination.
• More London and less Catacombs.
• Let me feel like a bad ass trained knight of the Order, not just a man that can drink a potion when he gets shot and feel better, that's almost as bad as a pat on the back.
• Tracking Collectibles, I missed some, I don't know where or on what level so I have to play the whole game again to get the last 4 achievements and platinum the game, I'm not happy about this! 
• More Lycans, You'll understand when you play the game.
• A tiny bit more colour to the pallet please, was almost impossible to play the game with the light on.
• More awesome science guns.
• Customisable moustache and facial hair, also the ability to stop and groom or oil beard in mirrors.

The foundations have been played, a world created, characters introduced and a conspiracy at hand, so lets see what they can do next.

feel the sadness!

I have Faith, flashes of pure third person genius happened from time to time so whats stopping them from Acing their second outing. 

At first I couldn't see where the average reviews where coming from?! I thought it harsh to score such a pretty game a 65 Metacritic, but like life teaches you looks aren't everything. But as time went by it became more apparent as combat grew old and story less interesting.

All criticism aside though its the first game Ive finished in a long time, due to illness and my lack of concentration at the minute. My brief return to work for 3 weeks distracted me, only to be signed off by the doctors again thanks to a medication change that isn't happening very fast at all.

Also the music ends halfway through the credits, I wonder if they thought no one would be sad enough to sit through them all, well I am.

Never fear though! PlayStation plus is here to save the day with 3 free PS4 games, make that 4. Ive already finished the heart wrenching feels fest that is Valiant Hearts

Firstly we have the annoyingly addictive Olli Olli 2 Welcome to Olliwood, I'm worse than awful at this game but I can see it being right up my brothers street.

Tasty indeed.

Secondly we have the uber stylish archer look a like Counterspy, I'm excited for this one as I've wanted to play this game for quiet some time now.

Last but not least we have New n Tasty- Oddworld: Abes Odysee, It already reminds me of my childhood and trying to play the game with little success. 

So a packed month this time around for me as a PS4 owner, Lets see how many games I can finish this month and not just start them.

Manic Army

Caleb, ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Also remember to check out my YouTube content https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCllx1-z8fVljqoOqJ41iw-Q