Never fear The Order 1886 is here.

My red velvet curtains.

Hello, long time no Blog!

Just spent the best part of a week or two getting over super flu!

Probably the sickest I've been in years in all honesty, it was rubbish. No games were played, no Blogs were written, nothing was done apart from sleeping and trying to sleep, but NEVER fear I'm feeling a little better, so today I write from a moderately tidy room with the curtains open and its not even 8 am.

I must be sick.

Ive been on a mad downward spiral recently and been in and out of doctors and hospitals having heart scans and blood tests to make sure my body can handle the new mood stabilisers i'll be put on soon.

So that's been my week in and out of doctors and hospitals, having meetings and scans, blood tests and speaking to people about my illness, its been pretty shitty being forced to relive all those horrible moments and explain them for the 100th time when all I want to do is move past it.

People draw super saiyan lycan beasts.

I did manage to grab a copy of The Order 1886, I'm enjoying my play through so far, I managed chapter 1-10 in my first sitting before I succumbed to the need for sleep. and my PS4 kept switching off. True Story.

Knowing the game is only 16 chapters long has stopped me from playing it since, as I don't want it to end, once its done the game becomes redundant, no multiplayer, no 'Lycan' mode, just a quick run through to clean up on the last few trophies and then back to Games shelf.

Sad life cycle but the only one it will get, I can imagine by this weekend Game and CEX will be mostly built up of second hand copies of a game every bodies finished, I would mostly be building forts out of all my copies if I could.

Touch my Moustache, no joke. FUCKING TOUCH IT.

Then there's the bundles that will no doubt appear left right and centre trying to sell the game some more to make up for its incredibly average Metacritic score of 65. not that Metacritic should matter, make your own minds up!

Making the game an Amber.

luckily for the guys and gals at Ready At Dawn the game is the most incredible thing my eyes have ever seen on a screen, multiple times I've stopped watching a cut scene and stood for overly long periods of time before I realise the game is in fact in motion.

This and my hunger for moustached characters Im very happy with what I've played so far, I know my journeys about to end but hopefully they do an Assassins Creed 2 and make a sequel thats one of the best titles released on the last generation console.

His blade is taking his spine for a ride.

Hopefully i can find my missing notebook of ideas and drafts and be back on the blog hype as of next week, sorry again for illness but I've been so depressed and out of it I nearly quit my job and become a farmer, true story.

Manic Army

Caleb -ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

Twitter-
https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

I have flu

So if anyone's wondering why I haven't posted much recently its because I am rather Ill with the flu at the minute.

Most of my time has just been spent catching up on sleep and coughing til i nearly throw up. 

Sorry if people are missing my ramblings. I'll get back too it soon.

Manic Army 

Caleb 

Apotheon Review - Nappy Edition

APOTHEON

Truth be told I've been in a Zelda trance these last few days.

Fiery beginnings.

This ended when I got tired of dying on the final boss of A Link Between Worlds.

So today I switch on my ps4 kick back with a coffee and decide it's go time for Alientrap games Inc's APOTHEON this months free PS Plus game, which looks like it should be painted on the side of a pot.

Greek style.

The main gist of the story is you've been abandoned by the Gods, and shits gone bad, people are pillaging and destroying buildings.

My adventure starts as I wake up after a brief lay down on the floor and everything is on fire, Raiders pillaging the burning shells of houses, its now my job to help out the villagers.

My name is Nikandreos and I'm a helpaholic!

What a shell house might look like.

My basic controls involve X for the ability to jump.

I can pick up items with the Square.

Roll away from danger with the O.

I can drink potions to heal myself with ∆.

I intimidate my foes by punching in their general direction with the R2

I throw stuff at peoples head when you tap R1

I wield the power of my giant shield with L2

and can change my shield for a torch with L1

<----> on the D pad move between your weapons, potions and throwable objects.

Like he said he's a helpaholic with simple controls to help you along the way.

The game is mostly built up of oranges, reds, blacks and yellows again keeping in with the greek aesthetic and feels a lot like Guacamelee in Olympus, Your typical bad character wears a red nappy and your friends wear blue nappies, everything is set up in a neat and tidy manor.

Have a Guacamelee good time.

Its very smooth and quick to use, I love the way it doesn't clutter up your screen with over complicated customisation options making it easier to calculate an attacking or defensive play

Theres a lot of choice of combination of weapons and armour you unlock as you play through the game, slowly pimping your character as you work your way through tasks, feeling like a hack and slasher at first the game offers more than meets the eye the further you progress into the story

Sure it was.

The game has a beautiful art design, fun interactive world and a story involving Greek Gods, Sign me the fuck up.

I decide that every pot needs to die as I get Greek 'Link' on there ass smashing everything in sight

The first set of missions revolve around you helping the distressed villagers, Once you save the Apothecary he shows you how to craft items, handy.

At the Blacksmiths house you acquire a shield and leather armour, basic but its a start.

I then decide its time to scare the hunters as I destroy everything in there hideout, they take the time to teach you how to throw objects ranging from javelins to bows, knives and greek Molotov's. Fiery

Next the granary for a nice fresh cut loaf, Thats a lie, I have to stop them from taking all the grain as supplies are short and demand is high. This is a simple task for a helpful nappy wearing murder machine.

He then takes an arrow to the knee.

Last but not least I need to rescue some prisoners, I'm taking it that these are freshly captured villagers and not rapists and murders or they can just stay there and rot.

After saving the day and completing all the objectives its time to mess up there leader lovingly named Ophion the tyrant, I decide the best thing to do is cleave him in two with my big shiny axe.

Now thanks to my axe happy chopping arm I'm declared the modestly named 'Chosen Champion'

As I stand before Hera, Zeus's wife, she turns me into an absolute boss, informing me that Zeus is being a little bitch and screwed everyone over like a child throwing his toys out the pram, Its now my job to strip all Gods of there power, Zeus included and ascend to the next level of Badass. offering salvation to my people along the way!

Its not as easy as I first thought, Zeus runs such a tight shift, if you 'Link' any of the surrounding smash able objects guards demand you pay Zeus or die, a lot like Skyrim.

Time to turn Zeus into my little bitch I think

Manic Army

Caleb.

Does anyone else punch themselves?

I punch myself.

Dat frustration.

It sounds completely bonkers to say out load but when my skills start to become questionable, my frustrations running high and my patience at its lowest I thump myself in the leg, sometimes once, sometimes multiple times.

Like some strange pavlovian conditioning technique, I discipline myself by unleashing unholy wrath upon my leg.

I've started to notice parts of me are more yellow than the original milky white colour they where before.

Gunman Clive is driving me bonkers, a clear contender for speed runs, it times every stage, secretly judging you after every complete level, I don't feel the need to go back and better myself, doing it is 'better' enough for me.

Link rage.

I've noticed it more and more as the weeks have past, the first time I punched myself I was Link, too anyone thats played a Zelda game its clear you've all felt that frustration, be it the whole of Phantom Hourglass or first puzzle in Spirit Tracks Zelda rage is very true.

As I've mentioned in another Zelda related blog, not being able to find that missing treasure chest is enough to go crazy.

First I kinda shake a little like Im telling myself 'did you really just do that'?!

Secondly I keep my calm and do it again.

Thirdly I try and rush my way there and die at an earlier point.

Fourthly I tell myself to calm down or I won't be able to do it.

Fifthly I close my 3DS lid only to open it seconds later like I didn't admit defeat

and if Im lucky enough to get to the sixth time and Beyond I thump my leg, like I said it could be once but I think the maximum amount of times its happened is in the five plus region.

Imagine the nail in my leg.

I used to do it when I was alone like it was my dirty little secret, then I did it in front of someone to just hear 'what are you doing' in a condescending tone.

Then I started doing it in public, when I was blogging about Clive I should say, if you've played that game you've felt my pain.

I don't know if anyone saw me raging away in the corner like I was putting up a picture. Only i'm hammering the nail in my leg with my fist.......also missing the picture.

Then it all gets foggy as I stop playing weather I've succeeded or not, normally not doing it and leaving it for another day, turning my 3DS into a useless powered brick for a few days.

I'm sure its normal.

Manic Army

Caleb ManicallyDepressed-ModearatelyFunny.

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ManicallyDepressed-ModeratleyFunny
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Online Diary, Day 1 - Bipolar Zelda.

Sorry if I got anyone's hopes up with that title I posted last week, whilst I was on the speculation train I thought it only fair to stop off at platform 3 and a Half-Life.

Ready to save the day, one crowbar at a time.

As long as people use Steam it's safe to say Half life 3 is a long way away.

It would be a nice thing to hear though wouldn't it, enough photo shop jobs on the Internet to make you think otherwise, My personal favourite being the 'Gabe' Half Life 3 image I used in that blog.

Talking of Steam I saw Tomb Raider for £2.99, absolute madness if you ask me!

Jumped aboard the Zelda train this morning, Spirit train for all you technical nerds out there, and brought a copy of Majora's Mask 3D, I then spent the whole day playing A Link Between Worlds. How odd?!

Only 2 of the seven sages left to collect, so its been a fun filled, dungeon questing day.

That adorable train!

I feel like I haven't released any proper content in a while even though I just edited content drop mark II 'I think I'm going to Spelunk"

Originally 45 minutes long I cut nearly 2/3 away to keep it in the 15 minute time frame YouTube allows.

Hopefully you'll be able to see the effort that went into making this one.

A different experience from the first video, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

Not sure what the next video will be of and when it'll be recorded but hopefully it'll happen in the next week or two as Matt's one busy bee, I could always try being funny alone but that's just a scary thought.

Its not that scary.

Matt's also my partner in crime when it comes to creating content!

Has this become an online diary for me at the minute as I've lost any sort of direction I once had, I think it has a little, do I just stop 2 months into this project?

FUCK NO.

Documenting the mind of a Bipolar gamer and all the content he tries to create was always the idea of this blog, To do it for me, to prove I can do things no matter how scary they may seem.

My biggest anxiety actually coming from people knowing its me, Its amazing how your views can change in such a short period of time.

Now I want people to know it's me.

Create content! If not for others then for yourselves, it's rewarding to see what you can create from nothing.

I also got my Diagnosis back today from the doctor so I have an official piece of paper saying I have Bipolar disorder, its sad and scary to read about spots of amnesia and memory lapses I suffered from being so far down the rabbit hole.

Next step is treatment so after some blood tests and heart scans they will be able to move me over from an anti psychotic to a mood stabiliser, either Lithium or Valproate.

Hears to the next big step in this crazy new year.




Oh and here's what we created!

Subscribe to the YouTube -
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Manic Army

Caleb - ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Moon Walking Trains - Gunman Clive part 3

Today's Gunman Clive update comes from a coffee shop, the coffee shop where I work, not the familiar and safe surroundings I've grown accustomed to, but still I

I'm actually sat in this Costa.

familiar setting non the less, I wonder if people will be able to see the mental strain this game is causing me.

It takes me two failed jumps and a serious being form a wolf to get in the zone, I'm not going to make it far on this run.

I dash way to fast to the left and fall straight into a spiky pit once again. (26)

I make it through the small laid out path and straight into a hobbit cowboy dwelling in a small cowboy hole, I shoot him in the face and walk on by. completely forgetting whats next I start to worry.

Death, hot steaming death is next (27) Death and Bats.

Bunny with a gun. 

Back to bat city, I jump and shoot all over the place like a bunny with a gun. I make the jump, shot a man in the gut and run through into what feels like a wind turbine chamber full of ducks?! Weird. as.
FUCK.

I eat a whole cake, like you do in cowboy times, candle included, run to the another room full of wind turbines and floating platforms, the more I think about this game the less cowboy it seems.

One scary platform ride spent running against the force of the wind and dodging giant circular saws I finish stage 8 in 141 seconds, Did I mention the left side of that room was covered in spikes.

Stage 9

Coming to you live on the trailer of a train dashing through the desert, I'm greeted by a pelican drive by shitting.

'Shit off' I blast at him, shooting him straight in the beak, I kill a man dead, shot a wolf gone and punt a duck in the neck, I decide that mans name was Noah seems as he had so many damn animals following him. (27)

Cartoon Animals!

Noah decided it best to drown me so I had to start again.

I run through the level as fast as I can, Ducking and diving along the way. Thinking very methodically every step of the way I miss judge a jump and get shot in the back by a cowboy hanging out a carriage window joker style. (28) 

I make it to what I think is the end of the level and jump in-between the connecting carriages barrel rolling down the tracks in little Clive chunks. Idiot! (29)

A nice bowl of minced Clive.

As I'm hit in the guts once more I rag doll straight onto the railway track and get turned into minced meat again.(30)

Turns out there was a room full of people after what I thought was the end, Easy work for a master cowboy like Clive, finished in 76 seconds

Stage 10 - Boss battle.

Turns out the train is a giant moon walking robot, Awesome. Terrifying!

I shoot it in its big yellow head and make more progress than I did with Elvis on my first go, Ultimately I die again through trying to figure out his attack pattern, it seems to be shoot a bomb from his chest and dodge his big robotic hands made up off wheels.

Every so often he breaths fire but thats just awesome.

Fire Breathing, Moon Walking giant robotic Train.

The best thing I can suggest is to stand on the boxes and duck the on coming punches and shot in bursts of three at his big yellow head. (31)

Lets do this this time, More positive thinking!

Nope, I die a few times in this process (32) (33) (34) 

Victory, 71 seconds and that giant moon walking mother fucker is dead.

Manic Army!

Caleb - ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

Follow the twitter - https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

Also check my Spelunky Youtube video ->

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I think I'm going to Spelunk!

Happy Friday 13th!

I managed to edit it together and this is the end result, 13 minutes of awful spelunking!

I hope you enjoy, please subscribe and leave comments and come back for more ManicallyDepressed - ModeratelyFunny adventures!

Manic Army

Caleb

Spelunky's a bitch

So apparently confirming Half Life 3 is a death wish  on the Internet as its wanted so bad.

I doubt it will ever come out as it honestly doesn't need to, Valve makes so much money with steam its silly to release any game at the minute, they may as well save it till steams on the down and pump some life back into the stocks with the ultimate box collection 3, Half Life 3, Team Fortress 3 and Portal 3, like the orange box with numbers or add Left 4 Dead 3 to confirm more 3s.

Today's post is short and spontaneous, just how I like my woman, saying that I'm 6.4 so most people are short compared to me.

The reason why its so short is I'm currently editing some video that we shot last night, I'm trying to turn it into something for tomorrow/Monday, seems as I'm fairly new to the editing world its taking a while!

I did however finish Life is Strange yesterday, as well as shoot 45 minutes of video, so cutting that down to ten minutes Is how I'm spending my Thursday.

Spelunky's a bitch

Manic Army

Caleb.

Half Life 3 CONFIRMED.

Its really hard to keep motivated when you feel like no ones reading your blog.

I automatically assume 1 million people will read it every day in the space of my first month and dismiss myself as useless from the go.

I'll just fail forever.

This being a curse as my mood can plummet in a few hours, everything takes time to grow and I hope the people that are reading really do enjoy my ramblings, remember to like and comment and follow my google plus account and other forms of social media so I can keep unto date on what to write about.

The more outlets I post on, the more I realise you pay to advertise a lot of the time, I know you pay to advertise but my god they really do just want your money, so word of mouth it is.

So its hard to not get a little bummed out on a daily basis when you have nothing better to do than stalk your own page.

This week I shot my very first YouTube video which was amazing fun, also learning to edit as I went along was an interesting task but I feel like it wasn't completely awful.

Hoping to shoot some more today in the same vain, playing classic games on the Gamecube or Wii  and filming as we go along, should be fun and hopefully you will see some progression as we record more.

Matt's a super fun bro and a very close friend, an amazing photographer as well so check out his Twitter page https://twitter.com/PhotogMT

Tall and Small seems like a suitable title for our grand YouTube adventure, so please someone be my first sub and comment on what you think and what could be done better.

I want to make something funny and unique and so far its two friends playing old games having a giggle so your feedback really does matter to me.

I brought some PS4 bargains this week as well, first up is Square Enix's time travel friendly Life is Strange and indie title Lone Survivor for a combined £6.00 instead of £14 so look out for those offers this week, always looking to improve my library with content as I'm an indie game lover.

Happy Caleb.

Just make it already.

The pile is now back on track and slowly growing more and more, my ability to finish them becoming less and less as my time now has to be divided into working as well, so I'm going to spend most of this morning playing Life is Strange because guess what?

Life is in fact very strange.

Also is anyone else hype at the fact Bethesda are at E3 this year?

The Evil Within 4 confirmed, Dishonoured 4 confirmed, Fallout 4 confirmed. Skyrim 4 confirmed , Half Life 3 confirmed, why Half Life?

Because its the internet and some one will take that seriously.

Manic Army!

Caleb

Exercise my right to pick up a gun and fight - Gunman Clive part 2

Today I'm Celebrate America by watching the Super Bowl, I'm betting the Patriots will win for some weird reason, whats more patriotic than having patriot in you name?

Rugby for wimps?

Anyway I decide in my pure chill state to fire up some Gunman Clive in what I'm describing as 'Let's Play meets walk through that adds no help at all, just details of death via cute animal'

Let's do this.

Stage 6 - 19 Retries - 16 Minutes play time.

A pelican hangs around in the air later deciding to shit a bird bomb at me, feeling one with the controls I jump shot him, jumping a cliff in the process and taking out two cowboys exercising my truly bad ass gunman skills.

A saw stares me out, daring me to make the jump, I think nothing of the stupid task only to get rushed by a man on horse back straight away. I worriedly shoot  all over the screen waiting for him to make a second pass, I don't look so good now.

What gap?

I focus so much on this shooting this passing arsehole I completely miss the hole in bridge falling to death number (20) 

I start of with a far more aggressive play style this time and figure it takes between 3 and 6 hits to kill this horsemen, I  smash all four this time with out taking one hit, beast mode engaged.

Bye Bye bridge of death, hello freshly blown holes in the next bridge.

I shoot a large red barrel, blowing what I can only assume are the pieces that are meant to fly away up, I can almost taste stage 7.

Two more terrifying bridges later and multiple explosions I roll through stage 6 in 59 seconds, that's a lie, more pre judged excitement when in fact I'm greeted by two more horsemen.

I jump down a ladder and that's stage 7 in 77 seconds.

Oh fuck it I need to stop guessing and wait until I finally actually do I, Oh I do now, 80 seconds in.

Stage 7

Creepy? Fuck no.

I start this part of my adventure in an abandoned mine shaft, jumping in the only thing I can see,
I wonder if I'll spend my whole time in this mine cart?

Looks like a yes, as I go to jump out the cart as a gap appears, the cart follows me like its welded to my lower cowboy parts, legs that is.

It's almost over as fast as it began, shooting me across a level of pelicans and gunmen in opposing mine carts.

I miss time an awkward short jump and jump straight into the abyss (21) 

Lets tackle that one again shall we!

More high speed chases in mine carts making Battlefield Hardline look like child's play, I high speed my self into the abyss one more time. (22) 

Once this game kills you, it kills you a lot! FUCK IT (23)

Fuck those guys, I fly through the level in 60 seconds flat . ONWARDS!!!

                                                                                    Stage 8

Only work he could get these days.

I climb down a ladder and bitch slap a wolf in the face, I rescale the ladder to notice he's re appeared once again.

I'm more taken by the magic blocks that appear and disappear before my eyes, I wonder what I'm going to have to do with them?

JUMP ACROSS THEM.

They form together into a tedious puzzle, one appears, one is taken away, making you                
                                                                                       memories the order they appear in to get to the       next level.

As I focus on the man in front of me with a gun I lose focus and walk straight into a decent, a decent into spikes, damn times moving blocks! (24)

I manoeuvre the jumps, slap a man in the face a dash over to a tiny killer bat, I finish bats off and jump over some more spike floor finishing another bat and gunman, I'm getting good at this now, I miss judge the jump and eat spike salad once again, No more!

That's a wrap.

Manic Army

Caleb.

Dollar Bills and Explosions - Battlefield Hardline Beta - C4 Edition

Its not the start of a blog and beta run if I don't have some form of caffeine, normally a black coffee to get the brain firing on all cylinders.

'BETA'LLEFIELD.

Sitting in a dark room like a vampire, trying to remember the last time I opened my curtains, I'd say mid October.

So greetings people, this is my first sit down with the Battlefield Hardline Beta, I'm quickly reminded of the theme of this game as a quick edit and flash montage is burnt into the back of my mind with dollars, watches, c4 explosions and fire all flashing before me in a quick 20 second burst of 'look at me'

This subsequently turns into a good cop or a bad robber? who knows?! I can see cops in his glasses so I'm going to say bad robber.

The first thing I notice is that they've put a LINE through HARDLINE, clever Visceral games, but that doesn't blow my socks off like the Facebook integration, no Battlefield you can't black mail me into advertising your game to my friend in return for an In game battle-pack, not yet anyway.

First things first and most importantly I need a Badman patch to show I'm representing the U.K, I soon start laughing at a patch of 3 legs running in a circle. This amuses me and enlightens me that this is in fact the flag for the Isle of man, nothing manlier than 3 armour clad legs rolling along.

Its a real flag, Honest.

I look to customise my load-out, looks like I need 2 years wages to buy an AKS-74U, no wonder their robbing banks.

In total there are 3 match types.

Firstly we have Heist, the aim here is to rob a vault, escaping via helicopter get away, unless your lucky enough to be a respawning police officer, then your job is to prevent the escape.

Secondly we have Hotwire, this one sounds fun! Find and capture vehicles stashed around the level, drive the vehicles at high speed to deplete the enemies tickets.

Last but not least we have the classic Conquest mode, a staple part of the Battlefield franchise this high intensity game of 'control the points of interest' is my personal favourite.

I want to be a robber with a shotgun, If payroll permits it that is.

It kicks me straight into a match, it explains how to select a class and what roles it offers to the player.

100K back pack.

OPERATOR: Assault Rifle, First Aid Kit.
MECHANIC: SMG, Grenade Launcher.
ENFORCER: Shotgun, Ammo Crate.
PROFESSIONAL: Sniper Rifle, Tripmine.

First match and I choose the operator, gotta love me them heal points.

Turns out my wish doesn't come true and I'm a copper

The first thing I notice about Hardline is the serious change of pace this game offers compared to other games in the franchise, on a more positive note I stop the bag carrier dead with a head shot only to get blown away by a shotgun blast to the face seconds later.

There still seems to be the same problem most FPS suffers from and thats spawn camping scumbags with shotguns.

The first match I play is Heist, the lay out of this map can quickly change your style of gameplay, be it the tight claustrophobic corridors of the vault chamber, stalked by teams of shotgun toting maniacs or the open streets, sprawled with roof top snipers and full frontal assaults this mode offers multiple play styles to be quickly adopted on the fly upon death.

Do it now!

Every soldier has seen Predator as their screaming 'Get to the choppa'.

I adopt my new play style as the match is taking into the open streets, I swap to a ENFORCER class dropping ammo down for the long defence of the loot, this slows down gameplay a lot as swarms of robbers assault trying to re capture the duffle bag full of money.

This takes us to an easy win, dropping the bag in a large open area can bring the end of a match round very fast if defended well, chewing through tickets as they throw lives away for the greater good.

Hotwire on the other hand is completely different, that much so it doesn't even fell like the same game and more like a first person game of Burnout Paradise as I tear it round the streets at high speed in my sedan.

It sounded amazing when I read it but I spend 15 minutes driving around a map mowing people down till I finally die, my thought of high speed car chases being pursued by a car full of pressing cops trying to blow out my tires, money spilling out of open windows as my clan of robbers fire back never comes to fruition.

Hotwire mode? I think not.

Instead I drive around in slow circles performing three point turns where I can, the only excitement coming from an oncoming gas tanker firing past me, but instead of exploding and my car flipping down the streets I'm left driving down the street, slightly of track I might say.

The match ends quickly as the opposing team never manages to capture a checkpoint.

I tire of this game type rather fast, one benefit is the easy 2000 points my sedan gain's from a lovely Sunday drive around a sandy park.

That sniper.

I tackle the Large Conquest mode head on and call in the help of brother dearest, we join a party, fire up a squad and launch straight into a match no problem.

This is your standard defend and assault mode but its mostly just a snipe fest, certain weapons seem slightly overpowered compared to others.

when I'm out gunned by AK74U from a distance I call bullshit.

Some cool additions are added rewarding players spawning on there squad with extra cash, this being your main currency for buying upgrades and new weapons, Also the game starts to flex it's technical muscle by throwing in a very 'American Sniper' sand storm into the mix only this looks more realistic and fun than that of Bradley Coppers outing.

We bro it out for 3 match's and three wins.

Manic Army!

Caleb

Be sure to check out my first YouTube video -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcUM-hIYtAE


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YouTube Content, A recipe for disaster Mark II.

My Second attempt at YouTube content should be uploaded today.

Do people follow using Google +?

Hopefully people will enjoy what me and my friend Matt created

The quality of this video is through the roof compared to our first shoddy outing, stick with it! This ones better!

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Please feel free to comment on the blogs as well, criticism welcome!

Manic Army

Caleb, ManicallyDepressed - ModeratelyFunny!

Future Proof, Fame not included.

A strange week for me this week, 

Future proof, fame not included.

Firstly I was diagnosed as Bipolar which is a huge relief and a long time coming, but to finally hear those words is the best thing that could happen as now I can be treated accordingly, which means more blood tests and heart scans!

I love blood tests so fucking much it's untrue.

Then to celebrate the diagnosis I brought an Elgato HD60 to start streaming some gameplay, I then realised my laptop couldn't handle the power of full 1080p 60fps streaming and recording, I then made a decision based on it being a success.

Like any reasonably sound of mind person would do, I brought a MacBook Pro.

Normal people wouldn't do this but I think its part of my charm.

So now every blog is delivered from a laptop I'm still not sure how to use, so badly so I had to text a friend, from MacBook to MacBook I should say,  about how to hashtag. #TrueStory

Dollar bills and explosions.

My week has mostly been filled with downloading Beta's

Battlefield Hardline was the first beta, my normal blog should be up in the next few days showing my 1337 skill set, If everything goes well I could technically record gameplay of the beta and narrate my blog over the top of it, like a white Morgan Freeman.

Secondly I emailed the Neverwinter devs about getting a place in the closed beta, a Xbox One MMORPG based around the dungeons and dragons franchise.

Greek battles never looked so good.

I was lucky enough to get a place so I'm intrigued and excited to see whats to offer.

So normally I have a list of games I've finished, after the last few weeks I've finished close to 10 games so its strange to not finish one at all, The list is starting to grow as I add Saints Row IV and Apotheon, a free Playstation Plus game for ps4 users!

Transistor and Rogue Legacy are the two amazing games free with Playstation Plus this month, Transistor is a science fiction RPG that follows the story of voiceless singer Red as she travels through a beautifully handprinted world fighting an enemy known as the process, My personal game of 2014 and Rogue Legacy an indie platform game, the goal is to explore a randomly generated castle, defeat four bosses in four unique environments and then defeat the final boss.

Jen Zee's amazing digital art.

I finally finished my adventure after 27 hours. 

So from me to anyone reading this that hasn't played either they are a must own for any growing Playstation Library.

Once upon a time I contacted the artist for Transistor wishing to buy some of Jen Zee's amazing art only to have my heart broken when she told me it was all done digitally and there wasn't a original copy, I was then told to check out the supergiant games store and buy some one of the posters and having it never work for me.

I still mourn to this day, another true story.

Lets hope the next week brings more finished games.

Never one to force the very natural work flow I've adopted hopefully some video content will start to be uploaded in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your Friday and download those games!

Koi Koi

Caleb

Follow the mindless tweets of a troubled individual at 
https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

The Games I'm Most Hype For! Part II.

So where's part two of your list Caleb?

Why here it is in all it's glory.

The buster sword in all it's glory.

After a few days away from the computer I decide it's back to the list of games I'm most hype about, Number 7 on that hype train is an old game but a die hard classic.

Probably one of the most loved games of all time, tying in with the number 7, can you guess yet? That's right it's none other than Final Fantasy VII. 

The master of RPGs in my eyes and the best Final Fantasy in the franchise, nothing can contain my excitement for playing it one last time, getting trophies along the way.


Number 8 and the end of Rocksteady Studios Arkham Trilogy.

Does my butt look big in this?

Batman Arkham Knight starts one year after the events of Arkham City and follows Batman at the top of his game ready to confront the Scarecrow who has returned to Gotham City in a bid to unite the Dark Knights enemies together and knock Bats socks off.

Basically I wanna fly around a 1080p city serving up ice cold bat justice.

Not long left to wait as this journey will start June 2nd.

Batman Arkham Knight ACE Chemicals Trailer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu19oAr8Wkw

Another Nintendo Title on my small list of games is number 9 The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.

Hey Link, how many adventures have you been on? 

I may only be a new fan of the world of Hyrule but I've never had a down day playing any of Links adventures, some finished and some still in motion, I'm excited to get another fan favourite remastered for the excellent handheld unit that is the Nintendo 3DS more of link and his adventures is always a good thing and the second Zelda game on the list!

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DqUTkMsVnw

The next game I'm excited to play for a lot of reasons, One being that some kind of remastered bundle will come out before so i get to play all 3 Uncharted titles before I get to play number 10 Uncharted 4: A Thief's End.

The Last of us in a Meme.

A lot of me wants to see how Naughty Dog can one up every other game on the planet, when it comes to technical ability and life like characters that is.

I think Naughty Dog and it reminds of a meme i once saw, I'm going to go find it now.

So do I count this as a One and a hyperthetical number Two, I think so.

Now I haven't played any games in this series but I was still blown away by the trailer and that is Hideo Kojima's whacky master piece  Metal Gear Solid and my number 2015, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.

That transformation.

There is a reason for that though, firstly tank controls are horrible on the HD collection I own and I never had a PS3 to play Metal Gear Solid 4 man with a patch for an eye.

Them graphics! It looks like a world I could truly get lost in, also losing my patience along the way.

If I don't get those awesome stealth kills down to a tee I will declare the game broken.

So there it is, my small list of 2015 games I want in the year of 2015, also I can't count.

Koi Koi

Caleb

Lets Play Bipolar.

So I'm running out of things to write about at the minute, all the balls are rolling for me to be integrated back into normal day to day life and I'm finding it harder to find the time to sit and have a good write.

Everything's better with a cat picture.

I need some true structure to these blogs and updates. I'm getting somewhat lost with what to cover and what to say. Am I moving backwards?

I think not, after a long, hard 9 year slog of being in and out of the doctors I've finally been diagnosed as Bi Polar, we've all known this for a long time but actually getting to see a psychiatrist and getting that diagnosis has been the hardest part, but finally I can say that I'am Bi Polar, hence the name!

On a different note.

I started talking to a friend about making some let's play videos for YouTube. 

Best Co-op game ever? Maybe!

We have a very methodical way of playing games, no progression until a level is 100% finished, this is wonderful and stressful at the same time, my fondest memory to date was our Ray-man sessions. 

I'd like to think our friendship was forged around this game, it's enough to make or break any couple, it just made us stronger.

What followed this was Smash Bros, in typical fashion the pupil now beats the master in this case.

Fist bumps and high fives, cheering and swearing. A running commentary of everything to come sounds like fun, all we need is a camera and it could go up in one take.

The start of something beautiful, and HD.

Hopefully I'll iron out all the kinks in my armor soon.

I started to invest some money in this venture by purchasing an Elgato HD60. I want to capture all that high definition game play, also a pod-cast microphone to add a running commentary of the stresses I'm feeling.

We also looked at another idea of recording us playing old games, in this case it was the GameCube classic Monkey Ball. we choose a mode, captured the room, no game-play due to static on the screen and us not knowing how too, we described what was happening and everything else feel into place.

Monkey Ball!

It was a very natural process, an 18 minute video was recorded over a tense game of monkey target, the aim being to roll a monkey down a hill and to hit the target, jokes went back and forth about dole's sponsorship of all things banana and how the first ball pit came about.

Hopefully I can chop it together into a shorter video and you can see the basic life of two recluse nerds having a good time reliving childhood games.

Enjoy the bad quality of sound, join my adventure as my knowledge grows and be part of mine and Matt's little adventure into the YouTube space, next time It'll be another classic game with a better microphone so you can watch as it grows into something cheap and beautiful.

Koi Koi

Caleb

Lets play Tales from the borderlands, Review

Tales from the borderlands

You heard me right.

As a fan of Borderlands and Telltales Games Studio, late one night, red bull in hand, No money in my account and plenty of games to play, I thought to myself '£3.99's fine'.

It's that simple, I Brought it.

£3.99 not being fine. My ever decreasing bank account screaming 'why, Caleb why?'

Where to begin, Telltale Games ever expanding library gets bigger with a surprise episodic based series based on the hilarious yet completely crazy Borderlands series, like it's counterparts The Walking Dead season 1-2, The Wolf Among Us and Game of Thrones this series will be split into a 5 part episodic based story around two loveable characters Rhys and Fiona.

Sadness comes over me first as I mourn the memory of my Walking Dead Season 1 save, completely redundant on my Xbox 360 not to mention my Season 2 save which I never got passed episode 1.

Glitch, never. Just bad lighting

First impressions, looks like borderlands, that's because I'm looking at the title screen, Still it feels more fitting than Borderlands - The Pre Sequel. Not that I didn't enjoy my time as a zero gravity Claptrap, I just couldn't get into it like Borderlands 2.

Episode 1. 'Zer0 Sum'

I remember that character, Fuck knows about his story though, I used to drink...A lot, 2 years sober. Boom! Sober bomb, back to it.

It also doesn't feel as glitchy as The Walking Dead season 1, some character decisions being made by slow frame rate and times decisions being missed,but this isn't a Walking Dead review!

The villian, once upon a time, maybe.

A little bit of back story is fed to the audience, Handsome jack used to run Hyperion and died trying to claim the planet of Pandora as his own, Important life lesson to come! Pirates will always be remembered hero's on the other hand will be forgotten. so act an arse!

You play as Rhys voiced by every video game character in the world 'Troy Baker', Just realised he was Pagan Min, the more you know! Rhys is a company man.

He also gets punched in the cock by a man named Yoshimuto as he's dragged through the dirt and told to start from the start about his story. let's guess, I'll be replaying his memories and how he got to that moment in his life

John.

First things first Rhys looks like John Mayor.

Now that handsome Jack is dead he's celebrating his promotion he hasn't yet earned on his way to see Henderson, Turns out Henderson's dead, dum dum dummmmmmm!

Your greeted by your nemesis Hugo Vasquez, who sounds like he's voiced by the guy who voices Joe Swanson, Professional.

He goes on about how every spaceship in the universe is shaped like a dick and that every man has a Destiny, as he says this Henderson floats past in the back ground dead.

Behind you buddy.

Now Vasquez has Henderson's job after his tragic death he keeps his promise and promotes you to 'Vice Assistant Janitor'

Details are revealed about Vasquez setting up a deal to buy a vault key on Pandora so now Rhys, Yvette and the badly named 'nerdy guy' decide to ruin his career, all these decisions being made by me as I'm the super vengeful type, I'm sure I would have got there in the end but I choose the vengeful way.

The game is crisp and gorgeous at this point, no game crashing glitches, no decision missing skips in frame rate just a good quality and funny script, some clever gags about dicks and death and a shiny lick of HD paint, hugely surprised and wildly pleased by this I carry on my journey.

He's a nice guy really.

We encounter a problem, Only a small 10 million credit one, no worries my nerdy accounting friend clicks a button on his glasses and that's it done, 'It's easy to counterfeit money when you work in accounts' he chirps. ha!

Hyper violence in the form of people getting shot by people that get shot by other people that get shot by other people that get run over by me in Vasquez custom made ride, the only perk he went on about in our brief meeting when I decided to ruin his life. I crush a skag as I cruise along on Pandora listening to Jungle, The band not the genre.

The details you tell the merchant, August, involve the key being used to screw over the biggest dick in Hyperion, Stuff happens and things go wrong, what? I won't ruin the fun for you.

There's always two sides to one story.

Enter Fiona , Con Artist, Pandora Scumbag, Introduced whilst your being dragged across the floor still.

Her side of the story starts slightly different to Rhys's and how the vault key came to shatter.

Fiona lives in a Town called Hollowpoint which is based in a giant cave with her sister Sasha and master criminal Felix, the theft of the key was there biggest heist yet.

SPOILER ALERT! if you plan on playing look away now. Or maybe just don't read.

Enter giant fake model Vault key.

To solidify the fact your a shady character your given a gun with one bullet, in case of emergencies
and a wanted poster of your cell shady face for everyone to see.

I enjoy my time in Hollowpoint, as I walk down some scary high street two little psychos welcome a Pandoran gentleman to town by both stabbing him repeatedly in the face, I take his money and move on my way, food costs and all that.

Cell shady character .

One killer feature is the use of loot chests, still in keeping with the borderlands aesthetic, yellow beams appear showing money is in fact in that box.

At first I was unsure of what to expect but this game is actually brilliant, tapping directly into my crude sense of humour, adding new depth to a familiar world in the click and point adventure style I'm truly growing to love.

I think I'm finding this adventure even more enjoyable as I've just finished playing D4, that's how long I left this blog in draft form.

Koi Koi

Caleb.