Gunman Clive Part 4

I see how annoying that could be now.

STAGE 11

Dick just threw a bottle at me!

Not an actual dick, just this dick cowboy.

I celebrate by catching the bottle and jumping into the abyss, popping the cork in tandem like I'm part of the champagne circus. (35)

Dick just got me again! Again the cowboy, not a dick.

Swinging platforms 'Tarzan' me too safety, away from the PeliCANS and PeliCANTS

These damn Tarzan swinging platforms cause me problems as I fall to my death again, Are these holes just never ending? Are they dug to the centre of the earth?! One weird layed out country if you ask me! (36)

Tarzan, Professional Swinger.

I kill him this time, Learning.

Jumping into the air when a platforms moving. Not learning!

Stupid fucking peliCAN (38) (39) 

I don't wait, I miss time this Tarzan swing, I die once a fucking gain! (40) (41) (42) (43)

Its that PeliCANT that won't let me pass, like some flying feathered Gandalf.

Turns out that bastard last jump was the end of the level, 74 seconds of swinging jumps, I let my anger recede like the ocean and move on to      
stage 12.

Bouncy mushroom or mushroom trip? Ask Clive.

STAGE 12

Is that a bouncy mushroom? That's a bouncy fucking mushroom.

Standard cowboy mushroom, I think Clive's eaten one to many mushrooms today, that would be an interesting turn of events if it was all a mushroom induced trip.

I mushroom bounce into that familiar abyss once fucking more! (44) (45) 

The jump mechanic of this mushroom is actually that stressful I want to stop playing (46)

This can only get worse as I imagine half the level will be awful mushroom jumps. (47)

I do it, only to be denied by a  peliCANT (48) Its okay now, I've figured out the awful mushroom jump mechanic.

Army Ducks. Adorable, Deadly.

Now ducks are flying in back up troops, adorable, but now it adds another layer to the fight, land and air combat, I'm not ready for this!

What did I say, mushroom jumps, God damn. FUCK! I curl my toes in absolute fucking anger.

156 seconds. Thank fuck for that that.

UNLUCKY STAGE 13

I jump onto a platform, a platform that tilts all the way to the left and dumps me into the cold abyss (49) Lets try sprint across it next time.

You rock! rock pun.

Nope. (50)

Looks like I can make it across if I jump it, I successfully jump through but lose two bars of health against some bullet sprinkler.

Hello sprinkler and rock monster, how are you today?

I roll across a gap onto the back of a giant platform and into the final section of stage 13, 1 bar of health left, I'm ready to die.

I have to run on a giant boulder like some kind of Flintstone, I do this as eloquently as a brick (51)
through a glass window, running straight off the boulder and into some spikes below

I'm over this level right now, I just want it to end!

I cruise through with some serious pace, next challenge is a spinning ledge, jumping from one side to the next as it lifts me higher in the air and onto the next platform, I slide down it like a fireman's pole and die once again

(52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59)

Once may have been an understatement.

When I say I die this much I genuinely mean it, I can't fucking do this today!

(60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65)

I'm over it today, I choose to put the 3DS down instead of leaving it under a car tyre. fucking Clive.

Manic Army

Caleb ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

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