Coffee and Cigarettes

I currently have a very casual approach to life, I sleep between 12 and 18 hours a day.

What can I say, I love coffee and Cigarettes.

I take my medication when I'm suppose too, I chain smoke cigarettes and drinking black coffee like some cop from L.A.Noire.

I think about what I want from my life, I contemplate education, maybe something to do with writing? Creative perhaps? Journalistic, answering questions with questions,  never quiet getting round to answering them.


I'm unsure of so much.

Lego Batman takes some of the stress away. until I realise I need a million studs to unlock the x2 red brick and Ive just spent all my studs buying all the characters I can.

That's first world problems right there.

My problem is I'm trying to start so much, but Im never get around to finishing anything any more.

True story.

I started this blog, I'm certainly not ready to finish it. but what I am unsure of is where to go with it?!

I guess that's life. we all start it with the intention of it never ending, then it does. Be it a long time or a short time. You want to try and change as much as you can in that period of time you spend alive.

I'm certainly spending my days trying to change things, myself mainly.

This blog was a saviour, a blessing in disguise, an out for a very ill person to try get his thoughts into order. Now their in order I struggle to find them.

I run at a constant level of 'normal' and that bores me, never up, yet always down.

I find it hard to do the things I love so much, my passion somewhere else, hidden with that order.

Gone are the days I used to wake and write, gone are the days where my Mac was constantly on charge, gone are the days of my 3DS and Shovel Knight.

I need to try and change it all.

The location of said x2 stud counter.

This leads me to this blog, I kind of just picked my Mac up and started typing away. Unsure of what would happen, Time happens and over time ill people become better be it for the better or worse. That sounds horrible, normally for better, I just feel worse.

So today is the day I make an effort to blog again, to write about all those things I love and the things I love to do.

Maybe I will get back in to education and finish something for real

Or maybe ill just spend the day get that stud count up?!

Koi Koi

Caleb.

It's only been 2 f*****g weeks!

So this is one long overdue blog thats taken me two weeks to even start writing, I couldn't tell you why I got out of the habit, Ive started to be able read again, my interest in books has gone through the roof, so the time I normally spend in the morning blogging over coffee has turned into a reading hour.

Such a quality read!

Now when I say I've started to be able to read again its not that I forgot 'how' to read its just that my brains been so scrambled I found it incredibly hard to retain anything, I'd read a page and forget a page at the same time. Fucking frustrating to say the least!

But alls well and good in that vain now so Iread through Andrzej Sapkowski's second Witcher novel Time of Contempt, A quality read for anyone who likes a rich fantasy world full of politics, conspiracy, sex, violence and bad language.

My times also being occupied by a few games, My ps4 getting more playtime than ever at the minute,  The free running zombie fest Dying Light and Borderlands The Handsome Collection being my main two go to games!

The story of Dying Light is a sad one, after hours of trying and failing to get into Majora's Mask it met its match in Game for a trade in value of £35. One day i'll revisit it but for now it just wasn't doing it for me. Dying Light being its replacement, hardly a sad tail worthy of shedding a tear over.

Now I don't know if I have ever gone into details about my hobbies and likes, It obviously clear that Video games is my thing, it has been since my Megadrive days. crying at the fact I couldn't get Super Sonic, that bastard was bright yellow!

I really did cry.

I'm your typical geek, I have little to no friends, I'm becoming more overweight as the days go by, I read comics and have a love affair for anything Ed Brubaker writes, 'Sleeper' being my favourite comic I've ever read.

I love Music, I have a moderate collection of Vinyls I've collected over the last year or so.

Some of my favourite albums and also classics like Led Zeppelin III and Jimi Hendrix's Are you Experienced.

My blu ray or as I call them Uh Blay collection is now 150 strong, I try and visit the cinema as much as I can in my spare time.

I blame torchlight 2.

The main Culprit.

Now Ive realised my content is starting to slow down yet again. Its gone from 7 days a week, to 5 and now between 3 and up, firstly I'm going to blame this on the combined 28 hours I've clocked on Helldivers and Torchlight 2 over this weekend.

The need to power level to level 100 is very real, 20 hours deep and currently sitting with a level 40 berserker I itch to play more.

Secondly Ive just really been struggling through out the bulk of the day to do anything, often choosing to sleep the days away and wake up late afternoon when people are around as I get terribly lonely, Most of my writing used to take place between 8am -12pm so I'm sleeping through the time I used to use to create content.

Ive been thinking about having certain days for certain types of blog,

Mondays to be game related, reviews, My thoughts on something and general discussions on the gaming world at large.

Wednesdays for my continued blogs of lets plays and other content similar to failing at a game I
choose to play.

Fridays for Overviews of the week, what I'm looking forward too, the next big release and also giving me more time in the week to right a better quality of blog.

Better than some slapped together, rushed piece of crap I force myself to publish, which i don't want to do.

Also allowing time for shooting and recording YouTube content and editing it together which also takes some time to do I might add.

This was meant to be fun and slightly informative to the people that read it, sarcastic and moderately funny, weather any of that is true I really don't know but I like to think people smile a little, its also helped me a lot to distract myself through a very troubling and hard period in my life, being diagnosed as bipolar and the struggles that come with finding the right medication and support to help you get back on track has not been a quick fix or easy task, now getting close to my 5th month out of work.

So this blog has saved my life a little recently as its done its job in distracting me a lot as Ive published over 50 blogs in total now which I'm proud of.

So I thought id just explain where I am and if there has been a dip in quality that's why, my enthusiasm still there but sometimes my depression getting in the way and taking the desire to do anything away from me.

I'm really hoping that slowing it down a step gets me back into the swing of things.

Manic Army

Caleb

I wrote this when i was half asleep

If my job was to blog, I would definitely be getting fired at some point soon.

This caption is self explanatory.

I spent the whole day playing Hell divers, via ps4 remote play, using my buddies PSVita as the second controller, another excellent feature for the ever cool PS4.

Now I must admit Hell divers went completely under my radar.

I'm not actually sure how I managed to miss it? but oh man is it fun, a blend of Starship Troopers, ODST and Command and Conquer.

You command one 'Hell diver', you drop into unknown territory to blow up a bug nest, bugs being 10 foot tall super bugs or drop off a black box to a safe point in the jungle, even multiple objectives per level which then leads to a 90 second skirmish at the evacuation point while you wait for your drop ship to come and save the day.

You spend this 90 seconds hoping some big ugly mother doesn't finish you off before you extract.

4 player Coop, Much fun. Many kills. Wow.

Playing solo grows old quite quick as the difficulty is ramped up and the rewards become less relevant to you, this leads me to the SOS call stratagem which you can call I'm at any point in your game, this then prioritises your game and your need for help as up-to 3 other Hell divers can dive in and join the fun, be it three friends or three complete strangers everyone seems keen to help when saving the world is at hand.

Another cool feature is that you control where your drop zone is, be it on top of the objective which is closer to the danger or a small distance away so you can plot your course more strategically avoiding enemy patrols and taking a more stealthier approach.

This game offers something for everyone. Mech suits, or Flame throwers, stun grenades to airstrikes
or even the simple shotgun or SOS call, your unit calls in certain stratagems to level the odds and bring the pain to one of the 3 enemies types in total.

Mech suit Fun.

My current favourite mix being Heavy armour, lazer machine gun and a Mech suit for all out combat with that extra punch, UAV's for bitches why worry where the enemy is when you can just kill everything in sight?

And that's what happened to my Friday blog, It got turned into 5 Hours of Bro fists and Redbull intake.

A day of Gaming for once at a relaxed pace and little to none depressed mood swings, also I brought Torchlight 2 on steam for 2.99, 2.99!!!!!! That's 80% off. boom, wow!

Manic Army

Caleb.

Never fear The Order 1886 is here.

My red velvet curtains.

Hello, long time no Blog!

Just spent the best part of a week or two getting over super flu!

Probably the sickest I've been in years in all honesty, it was rubbish. No games were played, no Blogs were written, nothing was done apart from sleeping and trying to sleep, but NEVER fear I'm feeling a little better, so today I write from a moderately tidy room with the curtains open and its not even 8 am.

I must be sick.

Ive been on a mad downward spiral recently and been in and out of doctors and hospitals having heart scans and blood tests to make sure my body can handle the new mood stabilisers i'll be put on soon.

So that's been my week in and out of doctors and hospitals, having meetings and scans, blood tests and speaking to people about my illness, its been pretty shitty being forced to relive all those horrible moments and explain them for the 100th time when all I want to do is move past it.

People draw super saiyan lycan beasts.

I did manage to grab a copy of The Order 1886, I'm enjoying my play through so far, I managed chapter 1-10 in my first sitting before I succumbed to the need for sleep. and my PS4 kept switching off. True Story.

Knowing the game is only 16 chapters long has stopped me from playing it since, as I don't want it to end, once its done the game becomes redundant, no multiplayer, no 'Lycan' mode, just a quick run through to clean up on the last few trophies and then back to Games shelf.

Sad life cycle but the only one it will get, I can imagine by this weekend Game and CEX will be mostly built up of second hand copies of a game every bodies finished, I would mostly be building forts out of all my copies if I could.

Touch my Moustache, no joke. FUCKING TOUCH IT.

Then there's the bundles that will no doubt appear left right and centre trying to sell the game some more to make up for its incredibly average Metacritic score of 65. not that Metacritic should matter, make your own minds up!

Making the game an Amber.

luckily for the guys and gals at Ready At Dawn the game is the most incredible thing my eyes have ever seen on a screen, multiple times I've stopped watching a cut scene and stood for overly long periods of time before I realise the game is in fact in motion.

This and my hunger for moustached characters Im very happy with what I've played so far, I know my journeys about to end but hopefully they do an Assassins Creed 2 and make a sequel thats one of the best titles released on the last generation console.

His blade is taking his spine for a ride.

Hopefully i can find my missing notebook of ideas and drafts and be back on the blog hype as of next week, sorry again for illness but I've been so depressed and out of it I nearly quit my job and become a farmer, true story.

Manic Army

Caleb -ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny.

Twitter-
https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

Apotheon Review - Nappy Edition

APOTHEON

Truth be told I've been in a Zelda trance these last few days.

Fiery beginnings.

This ended when I got tired of dying on the final boss of A Link Between Worlds.

So today I switch on my ps4 kick back with a coffee and decide it's go time for Alientrap games Inc's APOTHEON this months free PS Plus game, which looks like it should be painted on the side of a pot.

Greek style.

The main gist of the story is you've been abandoned by the Gods, and shits gone bad, people are pillaging and destroying buildings.

My adventure starts as I wake up after a brief lay down on the floor and everything is on fire, Raiders pillaging the burning shells of houses, its now my job to help out the villagers.

My name is Nikandreos and I'm a helpaholic!

What a shell house might look like.

My basic controls involve X for the ability to jump.

I can pick up items with the Square.

Roll away from danger with the O.

I can drink potions to heal myself with ∆.

I intimidate my foes by punching in their general direction with the R2

I throw stuff at peoples head when you tap R1

I wield the power of my giant shield with L2

and can change my shield for a torch with L1

<----> on the D pad move between your weapons, potions and throwable objects.

Like he said he's a helpaholic with simple controls to help you along the way.

The game is mostly built up of oranges, reds, blacks and yellows again keeping in with the greek aesthetic and feels a lot like Guacamelee in Olympus, Your typical bad character wears a red nappy and your friends wear blue nappies, everything is set up in a neat and tidy manor.

Have a Guacamelee good time.

Its very smooth and quick to use, I love the way it doesn't clutter up your screen with over complicated customisation options making it easier to calculate an attacking or defensive play

Theres a lot of choice of combination of weapons and armour you unlock as you play through the game, slowly pimping your character as you work your way through tasks, feeling like a hack and slasher at first the game offers more than meets the eye the further you progress into the story

Sure it was.

The game has a beautiful art design, fun interactive world and a story involving Greek Gods, Sign me the fuck up.

I decide that every pot needs to die as I get Greek 'Link' on there ass smashing everything in sight

The first set of missions revolve around you helping the distressed villagers, Once you save the Apothecary he shows you how to craft items, handy.

At the Blacksmiths house you acquire a shield and leather armour, basic but its a start.

I then decide its time to scare the hunters as I destroy everything in there hideout, they take the time to teach you how to throw objects ranging from javelins to bows, knives and greek Molotov's. Fiery

Next the granary for a nice fresh cut loaf, Thats a lie, I have to stop them from taking all the grain as supplies are short and demand is high. This is a simple task for a helpful nappy wearing murder machine.

He then takes an arrow to the knee.

Last but not least I need to rescue some prisoners, I'm taking it that these are freshly captured villagers and not rapists and murders or they can just stay there and rot.

After saving the day and completing all the objectives its time to mess up there leader lovingly named Ophion the tyrant, I decide the best thing to do is cleave him in two with my big shiny axe.

Now thanks to my axe happy chopping arm I'm declared the modestly named 'Chosen Champion'

As I stand before Hera, Zeus's wife, she turns me into an absolute boss, informing me that Zeus is being a little bitch and screwed everyone over like a child throwing his toys out the pram, Its now my job to strip all Gods of there power, Zeus included and ascend to the next level of Badass. offering salvation to my people along the way!

Its not as easy as I first thought, Zeus runs such a tight shift, if you 'Link' any of the surrounding smash able objects guards demand you pay Zeus or die, a lot like Skyrim.

Time to turn Zeus into my little bitch I think

Manic Army

Caleb.

Half Life 3 CONFIRMED.

Its really hard to keep motivated when you feel like no ones reading your blog.

I automatically assume 1 million people will read it every day in the space of my first month and dismiss myself as useless from the go.

I'll just fail forever.

This being a curse as my mood can plummet in a few hours, everything takes time to grow and I hope the people that are reading really do enjoy my ramblings, remember to like and comment and follow my google plus account and other forms of social media so I can keep unto date on what to write about.

The more outlets I post on, the more I realise you pay to advertise a lot of the time, I know you pay to advertise but my god they really do just want your money, so word of mouth it is.

So its hard to not get a little bummed out on a daily basis when you have nothing better to do than stalk your own page.

This week I shot my very first YouTube video which was amazing fun, also learning to edit as I went along was an interesting task but I feel like it wasn't completely awful.

Hoping to shoot some more today in the same vain, playing classic games on the Gamecube or Wii  and filming as we go along, should be fun and hopefully you will see some progression as we record more.

Matt's a super fun bro and a very close friend, an amazing photographer as well so check out his Twitter page https://twitter.com/PhotogMT

Tall and Small seems like a suitable title for our grand YouTube adventure, so please someone be my first sub and comment on what you think and what could be done better.

I want to make something funny and unique and so far its two friends playing old games having a giggle so your feedback really does matter to me.

I brought some PS4 bargains this week as well, first up is Square Enix's time travel friendly Life is Strange and indie title Lone Survivor for a combined £6.00 instead of £14 so look out for those offers this week, always looking to improve my library with content as I'm an indie game lover.

Happy Caleb.

Just make it already.

The pile is now back on track and slowly growing more and more, my ability to finish them becoming less and less as my time now has to be divided into working as well, so I'm going to spend most of this morning playing Life is Strange because guess what?

Life is in fact very strange.

Also is anyone else hype at the fact Bethesda are at E3 this year?

The Evil Within 4 confirmed, Dishonoured 4 confirmed, Fallout 4 confirmed. Skyrim 4 confirmed , Half Life 3 confirmed, why Half Life?

Because its the internet and some one will take that seriously.

Manic Army!

Caleb

Future Proof, Fame not included.

A strange week for me this week, 

Future proof, fame not included.

Firstly I was diagnosed as Bipolar which is a huge relief and a long time coming, but to finally hear those words is the best thing that could happen as now I can be treated accordingly, which means more blood tests and heart scans!

I love blood tests so fucking much it's untrue.

Then to celebrate the diagnosis I brought an Elgato HD60 to start streaming some gameplay, I then realised my laptop couldn't handle the power of full 1080p 60fps streaming and recording, I then made a decision based on it being a success.

Like any reasonably sound of mind person would do, I brought a MacBook Pro.

Normal people wouldn't do this but I think its part of my charm.

So now every blog is delivered from a laptop I'm still not sure how to use, so badly so I had to text a friend, from MacBook to MacBook I should say,  about how to hashtag. #TrueStory

Dollar bills and explosions.

My week has mostly been filled with downloading Beta's

Battlefield Hardline was the first beta, my normal blog should be up in the next few days showing my 1337 skill set, If everything goes well I could technically record gameplay of the beta and narrate my blog over the top of it, like a white Morgan Freeman.

Secondly I emailed the Neverwinter devs about getting a place in the closed beta, a Xbox One MMORPG based around the dungeons and dragons franchise.

Greek battles never looked so good.

I was lucky enough to get a place so I'm intrigued and excited to see whats to offer.

So normally I have a list of games I've finished, after the last few weeks I've finished close to 10 games so its strange to not finish one at all, The list is starting to grow as I add Saints Row IV and Apotheon, a free Playstation Plus game for ps4 users!

Transistor and Rogue Legacy are the two amazing games free with Playstation Plus this month, Transistor is a science fiction RPG that follows the story of voiceless singer Red as she travels through a beautifully handprinted world fighting an enemy known as the process, My personal game of 2014 and Rogue Legacy an indie platform game, the goal is to explore a randomly generated castle, defeat four bosses in four unique environments and then defeat the final boss.

Jen Zee's amazing digital art.

I finally finished my adventure after 27 hours. 

So from me to anyone reading this that hasn't played either they are a must own for any growing Playstation Library.

Once upon a time I contacted the artist for Transistor wishing to buy some of Jen Zee's amazing art only to have my heart broken when she told me it was all done digitally and there wasn't a original copy, I was then told to check out the supergiant games store and buy some one of the posters and having it never work for me.

I still mourn to this day, another true story.

Lets hope the next week brings more finished games.

Never one to force the very natural work flow I've adopted hopefully some video content will start to be uploaded in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your Friday and download those games!

Koi Koi

Caleb

Follow the mindless tweets of a troubled individual at 
https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

The Games I'm Most Hype For! Part II.

So where's part two of your list Caleb?

Why here it is in all it's glory.

The buster sword in all it's glory.

After a few days away from the computer I decide it's back to the list of games I'm most hype about, Number 7 on that hype train is an old game but a die hard classic.

Probably one of the most loved games of all time, tying in with the number 7, can you guess yet? That's right it's none other than Final Fantasy VII. 

The master of RPGs in my eyes and the best Final Fantasy in the franchise, nothing can contain my excitement for playing it one last time, getting trophies along the way.


Number 8 and the end of Rocksteady Studios Arkham Trilogy.

Does my butt look big in this?

Batman Arkham Knight starts one year after the events of Arkham City and follows Batman at the top of his game ready to confront the Scarecrow who has returned to Gotham City in a bid to unite the Dark Knights enemies together and knock Bats socks off.

Basically I wanna fly around a 1080p city serving up ice cold bat justice.

Not long left to wait as this journey will start June 2nd.

Batman Arkham Knight ACE Chemicals Trailer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu19oAr8Wkw

Another Nintendo Title on my small list of games is number 9 The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.

Hey Link, how many adventures have you been on? 

I may only be a new fan of the world of Hyrule but I've never had a down day playing any of Links adventures, some finished and some still in motion, I'm excited to get another fan favourite remastered for the excellent handheld unit that is the Nintendo 3DS more of link and his adventures is always a good thing and the second Zelda game on the list!

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DqUTkMsVnw

The next game I'm excited to play for a lot of reasons, One being that some kind of remastered bundle will come out before so i get to play all 3 Uncharted titles before I get to play number 10 Uncharted 4: A Thief's End.

The Last of us in a Meme.

A lot of me wants to see how Naughty Dog can one up every other game on the planet, when it comes to technical ability and life like characters that is.

I think Naughty Dog and it reminds of a meme i once saw, I'm going to go find it now.

So do I count this as a One and a hyperthetical number Two, I think so.

Now I haven't played any games in this series but I was still blown away by the trailer and that is Hideo Kojima's whacky master piece  Metal Gear Solid and my number 2015, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.

That transformation.

There is a reason for that though, firstly tank controls are horrible on the HD collection I own and I never had a PS3 to play Metal Gear Solid 4 man with a patch for an eye.

Them graphics! It looks like a world I could truly get lost in, also losing my patience along the way.

If I don't get those awesome stealth kills down to a tee I will declare the game broken.

So there it is, my small list of 2015 games I want in the year of 2015, also I can't count.

Koi Koi

Caleb

Lets play Tales from the borderlands, Review

Tales from the borderlands

You heard me right.

As a fan of Borderlands and Telltales Games Studio, late one night, red bull in hand, No money in my account and plenty of games to play, I thought to myself '£3.99's fine'.

It's that simple, I Brought it.

£3.99 not being fine. My ever decreasing bank account screaming 'why, Caleb why?'

Where to begin, Telltale Games ever expanding library gets bigger with a surprise episodic based series based on the hilarious yet completely crazy Borderlands series, like it's counterparts The Walking Dead season 1-2, The Wolf Among Us and Game of Thrones this series will be split into a 5 part episodic based story around two loveable characters Rhys and Fiona.

Sadness comes over me first as I mourn the memory of my Walking Dead Season 1 save, completely redundant on my Xbox 360 not to mention my Season 2 save which I never got passed episode 1.

Glitch, never. Just bad lighting

First impressions, looks like borderlands, that's because I'm looking at the title screen, Still it feels more fitting than Borderlands - The Pre Sequel. Not that I didn't enjoy my time as a zero gravity Claptrap, I just couldn't get into it like Borderlands 2.

Episode 1. 'Zer0 Sum'

I remember that character, Fuck knows about his story though, I used to drink...A lot, 2 years sober. Boom! Sober bomb, back to it.

It also doesn't feel as glitchy as The Walking Dead season 1, some character decisions being made by slow frame rate and times decisions being missed,but this isn't a Walking Dead review!

The villian, once upon a time, maybe.

A little bit of back story is fed to the audience, Handsome jack used to run Hyperion and died trying to claim the planet of Pandora as his own, Important life lesson to come! Pirates will always be remembered hero's on the other hand will be forgotten. so act an arse!

You play as Rhys voiced by every video game character in the world 'Troy Baker', Just realised he was Pagan Min, the more you know! Rhys is a company man.

He also gets punched in the cock by a man named Yoshimuto as he's dragged through the dirt and told to start from the start about his story. let's guess, I'll be replaying his memories and how he got to that moment in his life

John.

First things first Rhys looks like John Mayor.

Now that handsome Jack is dead he's celebrating his promotion he hasn't yet earned on his way to see Henderson, Turns out Henderson's dead, dum dum dummmmmmm!

Your greeted by your nemesis Hugo Vasquez, who sounds like he's voiced by the guy who voices Joe Swanson, Professional.

He goes on about how every spaceship in the universe is shaped like a dick and that every man has a Destiny, as he says this Henderson floats past in the back ground dead.

Behind you buddy.

Now Vasquez has Henderson's job after his tragic death he keeps his promise and promotes you to 'Vice Assistant Janitor'

Details are revealed about Vasquez setting up a deal to buy a vault key on Pandora so now Rhys, Yvette and the badly named 'nerdy guy' decide to ruin his career, all these decisions being made by me as I'm the super vengeful type, I'm sure I would have got there in the end but I choose the vengeful way.

The game is crisp and gorgeous at this point, no game crashing glitches, no decision missing skips in frame rate just a good quality and funny script, some clever gags about dicks and death and a shiny lick of HD paint, hugely surprised and wildly pleased by this I carry on my journey.

He's a nice guy really.

We encounter a problem, Only a small 10 million credit one, no worries my nerdy accounting friend clicks a button on his glasses and that's it done, 'It's easy to counterfeit money when you work in accounts' he chirps. ha!

Hyper violence in the form of people getting shot by people that get shot by other people that get shot by other people that get run over by me in Vasquez custom made ride, the only perk he went on about in our brief meeting when I decided to ruin his life. I crush a skag as I cruise along on Pandora listening to Jungle, The band not the genre.

The details you tell the merchant, August, involve the key being used to screw over the biggest dick in Hyperion, Stuff happens and things go wrong, what? I won't ruin the fun for you.

There's always two sides to one story.

Enter Fiona , Con Artist, Pandora Scumbag, Introduced whilst your being dragged across the floor still.

Her side of the story starts slightly different to Rhys's and how the vault key came to shatter.

Fiona lives in a Town called Hollowpoint which is based in a giant cave with her sister Sasha and master criminal Felix, the theft of the key was there biggest heist yet.

SPOILER ALERT! if you plan on playing look away now. Or maybe just don't read.

Enter giant fake model Vault key.

To solidify the fact your a shady character your given a gun with one bullet, in case of emergencies
and a wanted poster of your cell shady face for everyone to see.

I enjoy my time in Hollowpoint, as I walk down some scary high street two little psychos welcome a Pandoran gentleman to town by both stabbing him repeatedly in the face, I take his money and move on my way, food costs and all that.

Cell shady character .

One killer feature is the use of loot chests, still in keeping with the borderlands aesthetic, yellow beams appear showing money is in fact in that box.

At first I was unsure of what to expect but this game is actually brilliant, tapping directly into my crude sense of humour, adding new depth to a familiar world in the click and point adventure style I'm truly growing to love.

I think I'm finding this adventure even more enjoyable as I've just finished playing D4, that's how long I left this blog in draft form.

Koi Koi

Caleb.

Does Assassins Creed need a break, My weekly round up.

Cut that shit out.

Today I'm writing all day, researching and getting ahead of myself.

Instead of having a mad four hours of Typing and Editing.

If you could see the shit I chop out of these.

I have two Reviews coming up which I'm going to try and post this week, One being Telltales Games Tales from the Borderlands and secondly Facepalm games ported puzzler The swapper.

Both currently in an 8 page ruff format of writing, the stage I hate the most.

So I've had a moderately busy week of game play.

I got drawn into EA's 75% off sale and brought the deluxe edition of Titanfall for £10, a huge fan of the original Modern Warfare its nice to see what Respawn Entertainment could think up in the style of a new accessible FPS.

Giant titans and parkour, love it.

Titanfail Parkour Edition.

I like the use of AI controlled grunts on the map, at first I was sceptical of the 8 vs 8 play style, thinking the maps where to big for such a small number of players but in reality I'm always in a fire-fight with someone be it a Titan, Pilot, Spectre or low level grunt.

You never feel like your doing awful as your always engaged with someone and killing grunts offers the same satisfaction as breaking a camping pilots neck after you wall run to his or her location.

There's nothing worse than joining a game late as a complete noob with seasoned players constantly dominating you as you die repeatedly. That makes for an unpleasant experience and a game getting shelved early in its life cycle.

26 hours more?

Also in game related news I finally beat Cellar Door Games wonderful title Rogue Legacy after 26 hours and 179 deaths, only to start New game + straight away and start the hunt for my next time consuming gold trophy, 'complete the game twice'! on it.

One major boss down and 150 levels up, I start my journey into the forest to hunt a giant orb spitting flame skull!

Saints Row IV has already been momentarily shelved whilst I obsesses about Titanfall some more.

Not intentionally, as its my Sunset overdrive replacement. Open world, over the top powers, aliens. dive in dive out game-play, still sounds like a good time to me.

The list of games I'm currently playing has shrunk down and grown at the same time.

Mine was Red and Green.

Assassins Creed Unity got traded in whilst it still retained value and turned into an Alt J vinyl I wanted, my thought process behind it was that 'I brought it for £20 at Christmas and it will be that cheap again', an impulse buy, same as the last 3 assassins games, I wanted to love them and make an effort to see them through to the end, I just lose interest very fast.

My question of the day 'Does Assassins Creed need to stop being an annual game and take some time to reboot what once was the best games of the year?'

Sales figures disagree with what I think as Unity was more popular than Edwards Pirate affair, but Unity was also broken as fuck whereas Black-flag worked straight out of the box, so now it just feels like there realising broken games to meet that deadline.

I never make it pass chapter 5, slightly bored and lost with the plot I never see them through to the end, that's what happened with Unity. One day my desire for a Assassins Creed game will be through the roof but nothing has ever come close to Assassins Creed 2's perfection.

I say it time and time again that I like to think I'm a very diverse player, I have my finger in many pies, I never truly sit in one camp when it comes to consoles.

I entered this dick measuring contest knowing I'd own all 3, which I've never done in my life, mainly down to always being broke as a teenager.

Also I don't think Wii U counts when it comes to the Xbone - PSKitkat fight.

Cops and robbers just got better!

I'll also be playing the Battlefield Hardline beta from tomorrow morning so expect a review of that to come in the same style as my Evolve and Halo 5 beta.

Hope your enjoying my blogs and don't be scared to follow me on Twitter- https://twitter.com/WinslowBateman

Add me on PSN - FI5HSTICKS_AGAIN

Xbox Gamertag - FI5H5TICKS

looking to meet new players on a daily basis to run through Saints Row IV on coop and dominate some Titanfall and Destiny Raids.Still!

Koi Koi

Caleb

2015, The year I forgot to post a list of games on the internet for people to read, again.

2015, That's the year.

Witcher 3 hype is very real in my world..

Also the amount of games I'm about to list for your joy and my excitement.

Shall I use numbers, yea why not. Everyone loves the odd list of numbers don't they.

Now I'm excited for a lot of games this year, some I'll re lose the ability to speak over when social life killers like The Witcher 3:Wild Hunt comes out, oh ad that's number 1, do I need to explain why I'm so excited for it. 

Those of you that read my blog might have a slight inkling into why I'm going to lose my brain over this game, A huge fan-boy of Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski story of Geralt of Rivea, follows is all the shit an ultimate monster killing bad ass can get up to, not to mention the amount of nudity, violence, corruption and beheading's!

Like Game of Thrones but not shit, I believe that's settled any argument we could have, also did I mention it's an amazing game franchise and the final piece of Geralt's story? Unlike the Game of Thrones game, which was also SHIT.

The Witcher 3:Wild Hunt - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ_G6XiHoUA

The secret order of moustached men and woman.

Secondly, that's number 2 if you didn't know is The Order:1886. The story following a group of old order knights that keep the world safe from a horrible breed of monsters, Half man, half beast. Like me.

The Humans outnumbering the cool looking beasts, but being on the back foot due to the Monsters brute strength. awesome, with futuristic weapons and huge moustaches, what's not to love in this stylish 3rd person shooter. 

Also I've played it and its sick! Visually next level also.

We love you Kirby.

The Order:1886 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7SbgvtBDCQ

On the more visually colour intense scale we have number 3 my Boy Kirby and the Rainbow Curse, Claymation! That's all you need. just look at this and tell me your not sold.

Kirby and the Rainbow Curse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_QrlwnHbkc

No list is complete without a Zelda entry, number 4, Link's first journey on the new hardware since 2013'S 3DS release The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds. We love you Wii U

The Legend of Zelda Wii U - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0y4hv62YEw

Try and tell me bad things now, I can tell you know that game will be pure joy, and also controller crushingly puzzling.

Can I just put a bunch of YouTube links in a row and it'll explain it's self?

No , I'll use good old brain and language to communicate my emotions to you over these visual delights, so how many is that? 4, only another 2011 to go. True story. Go time

Coming in at number 5, in no particular order, just what pops to mind is Yoshi's Woolly World.

What is he?

Another game that's just an absolute feast for your eyes, also a cooperative game in that ever popular Mario format, you play as everyone's favourite lizard dinosaur Yoshi, I've been lucky enough to play this with a friend at EGX, he spent half the time eating me, shitting me out and firing me across the map like a knitted mess, wicked cool, here's that link you want.

Yoshi's Woolly World - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vR8EHatIIE

Jesus Christ it's more beautiful than I remember

I'll split this wonderful blog into a two parter, why you ask? that's not cool! Well I'd like to think your checking out the video's and getting as excited as I do over some of the best releases of the year, in my eyes!

So the last one on this short list and number 6 of 2015 is Halo 5: Guardians, now we all love master chief and his adventures across planets, solar systems and time and space it's self, this time introducing another Spartan name Locke his sole purpose is to find Sierra 117 and trade concrete with him, riveting stuff!

Also looking forward to casually playing more than my fair share of Online maps and cooperative multiplayer the way I think every Halo game should be played.

Halo 5: Guardians - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0YkQ4YKOSw

Spartan Locke.

So I hope you enjoyed a brief look at some of my most anticipated games of the next year, obviously there's to many to name so I've chosen a small handful, comment on what your looking forward to and if you think I've missed some important ones!

Remember though there is a part 2 coming soon.

Koi Koi

Caleb

Pig Masks and Bitches.

In what direction does a direction less blog go?

I'll go that way.

Do I cover news on a weekly basis and put my thought and spin on the whole situation?

Do I cover certain platforms on certain days?

Some formats I've found are popular, My hands on experience with games being one, The future of things to come and my failings and success's as a budding platformer.

I want this blog to grow but I'm clueless on how to go about it.

Beta's are always fun to review but their never a weekly thing, hence why I try and cover as many as I can, just encase you're not lucky enough to try them. I've also emailed to play some closed Beta's like the Fable Legends Multiplayer Beta but just have to see if I get sent a code. I'm good at the waiting game, Not.

Send me that code so I can mock your game. maybe

Also Xbox's Games with Gold and PlayStation Plus title's are a good way to give a person a look at the game before they kill there download limit for a game they might hate, some games I've downloaded for free only to instantly delete them ten minutes later, Road not closed being one of them.

Still haven't typed up my 'Swapper' review yet but I have till the end of the month to do that, but again that boils down to between 2-4 a month.

I like to think I'm opinionated, I always feel passionately about the subject and try to have a reason behind my every thought process, never one to jump on the bandwagon, I feel I have an honest outlook on the pressing issue be that a good or a bad thing.

I again can't thank the people that have been reading this enough because it really has been a saviour for me when I was in a very dark period of my life.

I remember this 'Meh' Film though.

Going from working all the time to being to sick to talk, to tired to sleep, not eating and not being able to remember 6 weeks of my life, I struggled to watch  films as I couldn't remember what happened. Three months off sick is a lot more boring than it sounds, I feel distant from the outside world and this has been a creative venture I never thought I'd ever pursue.

To have just under 2000 views in my first month, first day I posted was a month ago, is literally an incredible response for me! Even if it is just me and my mum refreshing the page over and over again.

It makes me feel really good, that someone might like my posts and take something away from them.

Be it just a few laughs or an actual purchase of a game I like to think I have a very strange format of reviewing games as I don't go for the numbers approach, That way you don't just scroll to the number with out seeing the process.

My reviews are an A4 page of facts, laughs and game play.

If you have a sense of humour like mine and an open mind I like to think you'll end up at the same place I do.

Just because I like it though doesn't necessary mean you will as well, but if I cover all the bases then I might touch on what you like and go from there.

I might just start condensing pocket sized nuggets of  internet down into more manageable bites

This whole blog coming from some drafts that  never saw the light of day.

Does the title make sense now?

Hotline Miami seemed like a solid idea in my head but in reality it was awful, You die to much, you spend more time writing what just happened and 3 seconds later you die again doing the same thing. The title was awesome though 'Pig masks and bitches'. on the other hand it would make for awesome game play videos.

I need to find a new platformer like Shovel Knight to cover, Like Mega man, pay day purchase.

Please comment and follow and let me know! How does one improve if the problems and ideas are not communicated back to him?

I do think I've found a possible candidate though, whilst surfing the 3DS E store I stumbled across a bunch of Critically acclaimed games to play on 3DS. One was a £1.99 gem called Gunman Clive about a gunman called Clive trying to shoot his way to the mayors daughter, I think.

Clint Eastwood's adaptation coming early 2017

I managed to die once on the first level and you start the whole section again, that's the winning format I love so much.

Koi Koi

Caleb

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