Shovel Knight 6 - Greetings from fort Kick Ass.

I start this session some what slightly later than normal but then again, I'm sat In a bed fort, so what is normal?

Fort KICKASS

5.57 pm - I start this part of my adventure looking at some kind of warrior God I can only imagine is from some kind of 300 film.

WARNING , Bad-ass name Alert - Phantom Striker!

This pump wagon claims to have killed many Knights, does he not know what a seasoned veteran I'm becoming in the subject of 'Slaying Knights', I'll be the first Knight to kill him!

They call this guy Thor

He conjures up the power of lightning through his fencing sword like some low level peasant Thor, NOT nearly the Godly figure I first imagined. I'm down to 5 orbs demi God - 4, but now he actually
seems to be lightning?! I think nothing of it, with a trusty shovel drop I reduce the Slayer of Knights into Knight dust.

3000 man purse coins enter my bank account, I and Barclay's cheer once again, Shovel raised high like a rebel fist.

He tells me I will not best what lies ahead and transforms into tiny gems, how odd?!

I cash him in the bank and leave a richer man.

STRANDED SHIP - Lair of Polar Knight.

On it, The floor is icy, I see this being a SLIDE problem, do puns work on paper?! who knows.
I'm already stressing , how did I not see this happening when I saw the icy undertone ....... oh wow a wolf.

Fair trade Viking anyone?!

Clearly these wolfs are dumb, three just fell down one hole. Hold up, even better ice themed villainy in the form of a Viking, I can't shovel drop him, so I shovel bash his teeth into the back of his head and walk on by to greet yet another Viking, this one standing epically upon a pile of ice bricks, he throws his spear at me, I throw him. That's how fair trade works Isn't it?!

I casually walk aboard a wooden ship and hopefully a checkpoint, I slide across an ice block to my most favourite part of the game, Checkpoint 1, Lives intact.Stress level 0.

6.24 pm - After some fort maintenance due to a light hitting me in the head I kill an ice wizard. Staring down the handsome scarecrow horse fellow trotting across in the background, I slip up, mesmerized by his haunting beauty and that brings up death (79)

I jump over the Ice horse's head and progress further into the wooden ship still perplexed at the fact it's all covered in ice. I kill this jolly little dragon fellow and jump through to the next part of the (80) 

Shovel point, Murray Wins

I just figured out I can shovel whack moves away, as I Andy Murray myself to Champion point against this ice wizard

I get through the cloudy spike room, dropping into a room full of horseman, at first glance I see no exit, I actually have no clue what to do.

As I figure it out and kill the two horsemen I find that spike's back on the menu (81)

I cruise through highly confident with this small section and claim Checkpoint 2, To far in now to back out.3 checkpoints left to go and I'll be ever closer the greatest achievement I could ever ask for. La Fin.

I whack some statue and it throws up rainbow, I think Nyan cat.

I navigate the skies by statue that throws up rainbow like I've done it before and make quick work of a wizard.

I defiantly think this is going to be easier than it in reality is. I get through but I cant see a checkpoint just another Viking.

I do what I fear the most, FALL of a ladder (82) 

Back to the rainbow vomiting statue of lapras. I get through again with ease and surprise myself.I jump across three ladders and past a man throwing hammers around.Checkpoint 3.

I find Chester, I see what he has in store for me,  A fucking WAR HORN, I don't care that it just cost me 4000 man purse coins, it's a giant war horn!

Epic horn bro 

7.03 pm - I get through the remaining horde of wolves and see a hammer man, a vomiting statue and I have one orb of health. Yep (83) 

Not next time, I see a way through, I use this to my advantage and succeeded, Checkpoint 4 is waving at me like they do, I'm not sure how to cross. I bounce on there heads worrying I'll miss shovel bounce and fly down the pit below. I don't, Instead I touch the trusty Checkpoint 4 and think I'm nearly done and then I remind myself that this is the hard part next.

I try and jump on the dragons head, waving some man purse coin's goodbye in the process (84) 
I see the song sheet and I see the icy path to it, I back out the room no braver or richer than when I entered

I use my war horn ' FUCK YOU DRAGON' it bellows. I continue to eat spike... again (85) 

Stressed?! NEVER

I try bounce on the snow once again (86)

I jump further this time but still that's number (87)

7.29 pm - Again with spikey death (88) 

Stress level 5 and rising quickly now, I wonder if at the end of this fucking ice trial there will be Checkpoint 5?!It must be. It really really must be there.

I realise the ice falling from the wizards ice attack is just as dangerous as getting hit by the attack head on, I realise this reality whilst resting in a bed, a bed made of spikes (89) 

I go about it this time by blasting my war horn at everything living thing I see, all must die on this most aggressive of runs and I'm determined to finish it in style. Nope (90)

I turn the music off as I mean business and in my head this WILL help me, It fucking well does and that's Checkpoint 5. I eat the hidden boss chicken, I can reach it this time.

To polite to say hello apparently

The giant Viking boss greets me by throwing a snow boulder at me, How rude he didn't even tell me his name. He shovel drops the floor with his big plough thing and I meet my old friend, Floor full 'o' spikes.(91)

I get him down to 2 orbs, he gets me down to 0 (92)

Death comes via a very lucky shovel blast that connects with his face and I stop holding my breath, 1/2 an orb of health left.lucky blast indeed.

3500 man purse coins gets transferred to my account as I sleep by the fire

7.47 pm - I go back to the village once again and hand this wacky Bard some tattered sheet music, I'm just in it for the man purse coin.

2500 man purse coins are spent on a mana upgrade seems as that fire blast just saved my shielded ass.

I could have done with that last world.fuck

I meet with the local chest Lunatic Chester to celebrate my win in style with some new gear, I'm now the proud owner of some MOBILE GEAR.

This helps me 'Ride over hazards and reach higher places' can't help but think that would have been handy in the Tinkers Tower.

I test it out, A tiny cog appears in front of me that I can ride. Adorable.

108 DEATHS
8.21:25, I call that break time

Kirby Style

Caleb