Shovel Knight 7 - The Halo 5 Beta

So I start today's Shovel Knight experience staring at a 94.5% Halo 5 Guardians Beta Installation progress bar not moving, it's nearly been 2 hours I think?! FUCK it,
we all know Shovel Knight is better than Mr Chef.

Hello download my old friend

9.44 am -  Today's Music choice is MGMT, I think to myself this wont last 5 minute's, then I'll be back on the Slipknot.

I toy with the idea of going to the FLYING MACHINE - Lair of the Propeller Knight, then I see a rogue looking knight on the field.I could do with some more man purse coins this morning, mana also. Let's be honest I just want to kill something.

Halo 5 Beta just downloaded! 2 hours of waiting, 95% and it's finally done.I click Go, It tells me  "Slow down Caleb, have another 7.7GB download" I stare at the screen, as it quickly loads to 8%

Remembering better days

Oh I'm definitely shoveling this knight up now, It's not a straight up fight though, my 'flaming blob' and 'Joust Knight's' senses tingling.

This is your fault Halo 5 Beta, things could have been so simple if you would have loaded first time round.

Either way I clean up and claim a giant chest O gems, still its not over yet, the levels flashing lightning, I need to be careful every step of the way.

I see more canon fodder in the background, Easy, Just jump-shot the two stranded skeletons and run on through.

Last option on the map, FLYING MACHINE it is then.

I see this being the shortest and most stressed session, why I hear you scream at your screens whilst eating cereal, as I've replaced your daily newspaper?! Well because all I see is floating ships and bounce jumps to floating ladders.

Its Raining Shovel Knights

My brain flashes forward 5 minutes and all I hear is 'Its raining Shovel Men'

Even better, so these weird jelly fish die once you bounce on them. I pre raise the stress bar to a level 3 just to be safe.

I climb into the next area, jump on a ledge, it falls from beneath me. This also happens with the next three, the last one adding a well executed timed jump to the mix because you know, dying.

Now the jelly fish have a complete outer layer of lightning to make things that little bit more unbearable.This game means business, I can only imagine what future terrors lay ahead in worlds to come.

Future Terror

It's all about perfectly timed shovel hits and deadly precision with every jump as the wind carries me along. I get through orbs intact.


This room decides to up the fun by adding walls which enemies can hide behind, also McShovel's, so I'm now some what blind half the time.

When I feel them rogue blasts

As I float to the next area I get cracked in the side of the helmet by a wizard's rogue blast.
I blast the fucker back, simple.

Wind is carrying me across the level now, making everything twice as fast and
tense, some hooded fellow comes over to check if I'm okay, I whack him dead just to be safe.

I continue to sail through the level using the wind to my benefit and fly straight into bed with the lovely Checkpoint number 1.

Now Joust Knights are more aerial in there attacks as one casually flies over and bops me on the head, I reply by bopping his head clean of his bopping shoulders.

GIANT CANNONS. I jump upon one and elegantly glide into the next area and take shelter in a bed of spikes (93) I decide this time before I go into this room I'm just going to war horn everything dead, This please's me, as does the ever growing Halo 5 Beta screen, sitting at 79%

Clearly distracted by this I jump straight into an area, greeted by a floaty Knight, Angry, I bash him dead at his sudden arrival. I then war horn the rest of the newly named 'Green Lanterns' into lucky charms causing the place to
look like an 8 bit murder scene.

Lucky charms picure

Holy Jebus there's propeller mice now not clockwork ones!Super cute

STOP EVERYTHING HALO 5 BETA HAS DOWNLOADED, come on Checkpoint 2. Just remember to not rush, I rush, that brings up (94)

I was so sure I had it, damn it. I don't make the same mistake twice as I power through straight into the side of a flying boat full of Armoured Knights, They make crude signs at me from the safety of distance and flying longboat.

Look, longboat in the sky,shame about the rude passengers.

I get lucky and kill it with half an orb of health left and that's checkpoint 2 and Beta time, I decide against beta time and power through two areas I don't remember and that's checkpoint 3. NO shit.

I mess the first green lantern up only to be messed up by the second. (95)

I call it break time as this beast of a level is a 6 check pointer and the screen is currently screaming 'LET'S GO!'

No shit, That's what it say.

Kirby Style

Caleb

This all took place during and throughout the ongoing Halo 5 Beta

See my Halo 5 Beta blog - Live.Die.Repeat