The start of something new #Thenerdstash

Don't be put off by the title, I'm not stopping the blog at all. I've recently been trying to progress my portfolio, hopefully over the next couple of days I'll be able to share my new experience with you as I should be doing some freelance writing for a cool new website called www.thenerdstash.com An American based haven for all things games, technology and nerd, as it says in the title.

Check back soon.

I recently was in talks with there editor in chief Jeremy Harris and I'm excited to say that I should be starting pretty soon, so look out for my new posts on their website aswell as updated blog posts from ManicallyDepressed-ModeratelyFunny

Some things that I've got to work on is probably my potty mouth, grammar and punctuation, basic understanding of the English language would probably go down quiet well also.

So things are looking on the up for me at the minute. Not only is bipolar life starting to get better with new adventures starting everyday hopefully over the next month all my medication should be sorted out after 6 months and I'll be on the up and up.

So there's another small update of things going down in my little bubble.

I look forward to sharing another chapter of my strange little life with everyone.

Koi Koi

Caleb - ManicallyDepressed-ModeratleyFunny.

Luigi's Grand Outing

We decided that playing Super Luigi U would be a fun idea, considering I'm damn awful at Mario platformers I decided to get over my fear of death and failure and take Luigi on a grand day out in his stand alone title Super Luigi U.

What i came to learn very fast was that Luigi in fact enjoyed dying twice as much as Mario.

This video shows a hour of struggles condensed into a 11 minute video, I hope you enjoy it as I'm really enjoying creating YouTube content, Low views aside I do it for the sense of achievement it brings to know every day I'm away from work I'm still achieving things i thought i could never do, so be kind. leave some comments, like the video and subscribe if you like what you see, It would be greatly appreciated as I currently have 1 subscriber! better than none but still 1, ha.

Have a great day and i look forward to sharing more content with you soon,

Manic Army

Caleb

Typing away in the dark

Kind people.

So this week I achieved the impossible, I finished Shovel Knight! You're probably bored of me harping on about this game but it truly is something special, I claim games are 'Broken' when I die more than 5 times on a single level, I'm not use to being that bad at games.

My patience tested every step of the way, my 3DS a redundant brick at one point, days avoiding it.

All for an experience I will always remember, funny things is when I run through it a second time levels that took me 50 minutes are now taking me 6 minutes.

The Guys and Girls at Yacht Club Games where even kind enough to tweet me saying 'Amazing to see your adventure documented in such detail! Thank you for the unique perspective on it all, We've seen some players soak in their first run for much longer than 14 hours and just shy if 200 deaths is none to shabby!'

So I'm a happy geek at this moment in time.

Damn, she's a sexy witch.

I tied up some lose ends last week by finishing Sunset Overdrive and other games so I traded a few in to start my Bayonetta 2 journey, Sexy she witch she is!


I impulse brought Super Mario Galaxy 2 when the digital download released at £8.99, mega deal for a game widely regarded as one of the best ever. Me missing a lot of Wii's original titles being a Call of Duty nerd, so I'm looking forward to the journey ahead of me, Yoshi for the win! I wonder if I'll see the Captain?

5 hours this weekend dedicated to Mario Kart 8 with some close friends was also an awesome experience, In my mind the Wii U is such a perfect console to play with people of any age and any skill, fun every step of the way, Charming and simple to pick up.

We all take it super serious!

I treated myself to FarCry 4 as a '2 years sober' gift, It now sits in the pile of Ubisoft games currently at 20% completion

Another Quiet week for my chief dust collector Xbox One, Evolve Beta has been downloaded which is pretty cool, excited to see the full extent of what Turtle Rock Studios can conjure up, a huge fan of the original Left 4 Dead.

Hours spent Co-op Running it with 3 friends, screaming at the fact I killed a witch by accident with a shotgun, unlocking an achievement in the progress, my favourite! Mocking my dear friend that can't play Shovel Knight as he couldn't do it when he tried, me doing it in a drunken state.

Still awaiting the return of brother dearest to join my Halo Campaign! Reality is I'll have to ask Matt to join me in a day long session playing as much as we can.

Not so sexy witch.

Path of Exile, My new mindless grind game, I tell myself 1 hour, It let's me out of it's trance 6 hours later, plus I got my little brother involved, don't know if that's a good thing or not?

A new chapter also begins this week, the response was incredible, all 5 of you voting on what game I should play next, The clear winner being The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth with a mind blowing  4 VOTES. Incredible, I'm quiting my day job.

So expect that at some point in the future, not sure how I'll document it yet, as I play it will become clear to me.

Day job.

That's it I think?!

I'm not going to make it sound like I lead an interesting life because as you can see I clearly don't

Koi Koi

Caleb

Shovel Knight 11 - The End is Nigh.

Back once again to the Troupple pond for some freebie potions, this shall be my final visit and final battle.

Cheap horror movie.

I enter the castle greeted by walls surrounding me, I shovel drop a brick and everything falls away, I fall with it taking me three floors down onto a very shady looking platform, lava underfoot taunting me with cries for help, the room smells of hot death, I'll be adding to that shortly.

Plus why does my house smell of death? I'm playing a game not in some cheap horror movie, I'd call it 'Nintendo 3.Dead.S', spooky.

Did I speak to soon, the platform just started 'flinging' its self at me, politely pushing me in said lava along the way. (165) (166) (167) 

I jump all the blocks being delicately thrown at my face till a hole appears in the hall, I jump through to what I think is safety when in reality I just fall down another 3 levels of pure darkness onto another sketchy looking platform.

The level seems to be building around me a lot like in bastion, only this time I'm not an angry kid smashing stuff in a beautifully painted world, I'm a shovel Knight in a wonderful 8 bit world, or 16
bit, probably 16 bit now I think about it.

Either way I still feel hugely uncomfortable knowing death is one miss placed shovel foot away, I get uncomfortable in the process of thinking this and fall to death number (168) 

Bastion.

This time I get all comfortable in the lava as I stumble a jump and bash my head on a platform like a complete twat.

I don't think you could die on this part if you fucking tried, ughhhhh. (169)

Mo lava, Mo death. (170) 

Painful to watch timed jumps into nothing appear next as the block appears underfoot after every jump, leaving no room for error, every jump now a shaky nervous one.

I run across a giant platform as it builds around me, floating lamps popping on as I run past them. Hello checkpoint my old friend! does this mean its time for the boss battle?

Fuck yea it does, as I run into the castle readying a bitch slap for this lady its straight to business as she flies away and starts the attack, If I try shovel drop her and land on the platform it falls away from me, could prove tricky as I love that move.

(171) (172) Like I said, I love that move.

I manage to get her down half health before I start to struggle but I'm currently up on health, bet I have to beat her more than once, just to make it that little bit more unbearable.

(173) Falling's peaceful.

2 Orbs left and............she dead!

Large enemy appearig from a wall.

I catch Shield Knight as the ENCHANTRESS dies.

Shovel Knight Claims he would have come sooner had he known.

Shield Knight lays on the sob story as she never gave up, I did though, I remember leaving my 3DS for days, avoiding the 8 boss battle, I want to tell her this part but I can't.

Soon as they claim to both be weak from the battle a large enemy appears from within the walls, I hope we both battle it as I'm rather scared of dying and having to do it all over again.

Also, Called it!

Toast break, Marmite if your wondering.

Marmite on toasted bread, true story.

Luckily when I die straight away the game launches me straight back into this boss battle, thank Shovels for that (174)

I have to tag team her with Shield Knight, using her shield to bounce in the air, Shovel dropping her in the face as I glide through the air like an air devouring sex tornado. Blades of glory, great quote!

I Shovel drop her head into absolute oblivion keeping my cool as I dominate this final boss battle, nothing coming close to the Battle Royale in chapter 10.

Shield Knight states the obvious 'We need to get out'

Staring Shovel Knight and Shield Knight.

The ENCHANTRESS tries one last blow and wounds Shovel Knight, Shield Knight jumps in the way like a bodyguard and saves him from the final blow.

Black Knight appears now?! apparently its a party not an escape, but what's this he drags Shovels to safety! Shield Knight sacrificing herself in the process to save the day.

The newly named Slag Knight cries as she's so happy to see them both, Bitch.

Black Knight promises to save McShovels as the castle falls down and restores good to the world.

He throws me next to a fire and fucks off.

Roll Credits.















Written by Caleb Bateman.
Played by Caleb Bateman.
Toast supplied by Grandma.


194 Deaths

13:33:27 Total play time



Did you stay till the end before clicking away?

Good because turns out Shield Knight escaped and sits next to McShovels, Hero's always get the girl.

Also probably one of my Greatest gaming achievements to date.

This game was hard!

But I had the most fun playing it and want to say congratulations to Yacht Club Games for making this amazing game, hopefully it's got you intrigued, like my friend we shall not mention, also it took him 80 minutes to not finish the 3rd level in the game!

Koi Koi

Caleb.

Forcing myself to write

What I write just seems to appear in  my head.

No thought about it, no notes about what I'm writing about or the subject, I just sit, it appears like it's already been written for me, just straight from brain to paper, even brain to blog.

As you could probably tell I have no format or style, It's bullet points joined together with crude words, bad humour and poor English, yet I enjoy every minute of it.

Mr at my best.

Sometimes I read them back a few days later and laugh at how badly arranged they are. All the misspellings and punctuation being part of the charm....I hope. There not perfect, just laugh at them, that's my style.

If you ever had the misfortune of seing my hard writing, you would soon realise this is all written over my bedroom walls in crayon.

2015 should be an amazing year for games, I'm super excited about a handful of games so far, one in particular being Final Fantasy VII, One more reason to play it through again being the newly announced trophies for the game, platinum being my only thought.

Everything else would just be failure in my eyes, hopefully this time I'll find Vincent as all the other times I missed him out.

Best game ever? I think so.

The rest revolving around some of the biggest titles of the year my personal favourite being The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt, A huge fan of the series and follower of the books any reason to jump into Geralt's world is all the reason I need!

Hopefully leading to another stellar RPG I can quickly put over 125 hours into in the first 2 weeks, beating my recently achieved Dragon Age Inquistion speed play, 125 in the first 10 days. I loved that game and series but hopefully this game will take me above and beyond the 200 hour mark.

My top 5 time absorbing games being Diablo 3, Skyrim, Final fantasy X, Dragon Age Origins and Final Fantasy VII. These all being above and beyond the 200 hour mark, Diablo 3 being more near the 300 mark, and then there's Call of Duty 4's online mode which was 17 days in total.

Nothing compared to my brothers combined effort of 55 days on Modern Warfare 3, there rank beigng 2ND in the WORLD at kill confirmed!

I'm also looking forward to another weekend spent in heaven or to normal people called EGX, this
time being at the birmingham N.E.C. Last years being where I got almost all my hands on experience with some of the biggest titles including

Some show, can't remember the name.

FarCry 4 - I rode my first elephant and fucked up a fortress.

Mortal Kombat X - my girlfriend ripped my heart out fatality style.

Sunset Overdrive - I won a can of OverCharge for being badass at the game.

Dragon Age Inquistion - dodging a 6 hour queue and having my first online experience raiding a castle with my girlfriend and 2 strangers.

Shadow of Mordor - Riding wargs and popping orc heads has never been so fun and graphic

A Pre alpha bulid of Dead Island 2 - Zombie smashing good fun.

A breath taking look at The Order 1886 - I stood motionless watching the screenmthinking it had frozen, later realising that this in fact was the demo, me stood in the open getting shot at.

A lot of my time spent in the Nintendo Zone where I concreted my love for Shovel Knight and the fact i was going to buy it and later dribbling over the first playable demo I had seen of Super Smash Bros WiiU.

Stick with me as I'm sure my Blog will go through a lot of changes this year.


Alway's one to have and give my opinion on a diverse selection of games, I hope you enjoy what little sense I bring to the table

I want to create something, I'm tired of having these thoughts and this passion, not expressing any of it, I want to meet new people through social media and forge friendships over the latest release titles and opinions leading to new stories and chapters in my life.

My boiiiiii Kirby.

Talking Videogames, moving into the Podcast territory and doing something I love.

I do this out of love for the industry and nothing else, so join the conversation and get involved!

Koi Koi

Caleb

Shovel Knight 9 - Silence

It's quiet today as I revisit McShovel's after a few days off. The power of this blog carrying me through to what I can only describe as 'The last few runs'

Toader, 8 bit disapproval.

I try and cash in on a cheap laugh by joking to Toader, he shakes his head disapprovingly, determined I try another 5 times, Silence, with that silence in mind I start my slow walk to the TOWER OF FATE

As I rock up to the entrance it's green sky and wizards for breakfast, I walk on past witnessing a scary reminder that this game wants me dead in the form of pit jumping fish, as you time that precise jump they spring out at the half way point normally flinging you to your death, I turn up the anti and shovel bash him into orbit reminding him I'm the knight, him mear castle fodder I must crush.

I think a book is bouncy. I run straight to my death (117), the game not even trying then, me doing all the work.

The mistake this time is propeller mice feet to the teeth (118), still fucking adorable I must say.

I get through the next room and all I have to do is shovel bash 6 flying mice and make a dash across a flying platform to another ladder, Checkpoint 1 nearly in view?!

Google images picture of a Griffon.

I realise the error of my ways, the platforms to far away! I think I need to shovel drop the mice, bouncing my way over to the ladder, starting well I bounce to my death (119)

I fall again this time getting lucky and landing on a platform below, I've started these final two assaults dreading what's to come every step of the way, Instead of checkpoint I get giant griffon battle, another huge 'fuck you' from the game right there.

I defeat the bird and again there's no checkpoint, 1 orb of health left now due to it also raining fire and breathing fire at the same time, wizard walking into view.

My brain hurts.

Turns out I'm lucky and my final 3 fire blasts connect, setting Mr wizard ablaze, please, surely that's checkpoint 1, Oh sweet Jesus, I couldn't care what happens now!

Ohhhhh your my best friend, in a world we must defend.

Huge lie, I'm massively intimidated by this little game.

I dash through making quick work of these moving walls only to hesitate at the last jump and get crushed (120) 


2 DAYS LATER


I leave it two days, I've been playing Xbox One games all night but I remember the horrors I'm about to re-encounter.

Ah old faithful knight crusher how I had forgot about your sweet existence, but I can't play Pokemon Alpha Sapphire or use my 3DS as a super smash controller, curse you tiny Knight!

I jump at the wall like a right fucking idiot (121), I feel to weak, playing this game today is testing as I jump straight down a hole again, no longer in control like before (122), I over jump this time forgetting the lay out (123), (124), (125), (126) half way along and it's slowly coming back to me (127) 

As I get further than ever before my most favourite Knight appears, Sir Joust Knight the 83rd

I nudge forward to attack, the corner of a ceiling crushing the corner of my tiny shovel head, FUCK. (128), (129)

Not one but two Joust Knights war horned into oblivion.

Checkpoint, stress levels in the dangerzone!

That dangerzone hype.

Two samurai guards run at me, what the fuck, I reach for my war horn and kill them both with my fishing rod?!

Checkpoint 3 in my view, I try not to rush to fast, my eagerness putting me in a bed of spikes once again. (130) 

This time I drift on through and bring it on back, quickly finding my shovel groove and checkpoint 3. Fuck yea shovel groove!

The back drop is a green rainy sky of lightning, as my knightly outline powers across a dark bridge shadowing me to any foe, I dare you to stand in my way, power at my finger tips, 3DS covered in sweat I make quick work of anything that stands in my way.

Green doom.

As I travel further I come to realise I cant actually see a fucking thing, I jump to the outlined platform.(131)

Ahead of me,  it hits me in the face like a BRICK, the rain isn't bouncing of this plat.........

'Not again fake platform' I shout as I run to checkpoint, hugely relaxed compared to the awful 1-2 stretch recently finished.

Awful!

BLACK KNIGHT you evil son of a bitch, It's another boss fight. Match 3, ding ding. Let's do this.

The ENCHANTRESS finally revealing to me that BLACK KNIGHT is acting of his own accord

The Dark Knight.

Oh shit the ENCHANTRESS just dropped him, Hard!

Turns out he ain't hurt that bad as he runs across the map at me, Time to shovel this bitch up.

Turns out he's as hard as balls, now being able to fly, Is this the ENCHANTRESS's doing?! Is she in control of him making him have some super human knightly strength?

Apple sauce bitch

Sob story, BLACK KNIGHT's also trying to save SHIELD KNIGHT, I don't care!

There's a reason why the games called Shovel Knight.

148 Deaths    11.25:51

How to lose at the game called life

As I write this I'm fucking miserable, I think the hardest game I currently play and suck at is life, I've never seemed to be very good at it.

3DS Brick Edition.

On top of that my 3DS is now just a redundant brick, Shovel Knight is putting up such a fight, this fight being every boss battle in the game in succession, I also don't know what happens when you beat them all.

Some positive's come in the form of PlayStation Plus games Infamous:First Light and The Swapper, both title's I've looked at buying before and now there mine for free!

Just downloaded The Swapper, First Light nowhere to be seen, an hour passed till it appeared for free and not £11.99

I'll also be doing a minor overview of The Swapper and my feelings and experince with the game,
same as the Dark Dreams Don't Die games with gold review I posted.

Solve my puzzle Edition.

Its been a productive week of game play for me, two small milestones being achieved in the process.

Firstly my trophies count has been bumped up to 8 stars, also my gamer score has past the 86000 mark on completion of D4

Secondly I finished a small amount of games!


Finally polished of the end of the brilliant Sunset Overdrive, did YOU stay till the end of the credits, that ending!!

I also manages to sit and play through 'The Wolf Among Us' which was incredible and worth the £9.99 asking price, I started the first episode of Tales from the Borderlands which was surprisingly funny and excellent as well as the complete run through of D4 which as crazy as it was I thoroughly enjoyed.

Master Chef Xbox One Edition.

No progress made on Assassins Creed Unity as of yet and The Masterchef Collection is still waiting to be played, my brother jumping ship the second he brought a PS4 at Christmas.

I'm looking at continuing to blog as much as I can but content might slow down too every other day as I'll be giving my overview of The Swapper and first opinion is 'It's testing what little brain I have', which might take a few days to finish and get Online.

Awaiting the results of my 'Larazopam Diaries' vote to see what painstaking game I shall be playing and documenting next, last time I looked it was The Binding of Isaac in the lead, hoping to add some YouTube videos up at some point showing horrendous game-play videos of me vs platformers vs patience vs drugs.

Commit suicide Edition.

That Idea only being an idea so far though.

So a somewhat busy week past and a busy week ahead, please keep showing your support, comment on the blogs, follow my twitter account and Instagram pages for ramblings, pictures of me doing shit whilst getting fat.

Share the love, show a friend, join the Facebook page or this weird Google plus thing, I have no clue how it works.

But I just want to say a big Thank you to the people that have read my blogs, my friends and family who keep saying kind words and made me start doing this in the first place, I never thought I would, so even I surprise myself from time to time.

So cheers to many more blogs about games, stuff and prescription pills!

Happy 2015.

Destiny's Child Dance Edition.

Any thoughts about games I may have missed and should try and play drop in the comments below.

Also climbed back on that Destiny shaft after writing my blog and now sitting at a sweet level 29, still no raid attempts  yet, but I have all new armor, exotic helmet, legendary legs and books ready to get me into the 30's and beyond

Kirby Style,

Caleb.

Shovel Knight 8 - Picking up the pieces from a gyroscopic jester.

Death, Green Lantern style

I try to pick up where I left off, due to the Halo 5 Beta excitement, Slowly eased back in by a death from above, Green Lantern style! (96) 

8.27 am - I swear its's getting earlier, this game being on my mind 24/7.

The thought of beating it scares the shit out of me, but also excites me at the same time.

Do I have the stones to shovel on through to the end, that we will find out.

I pre kill all 3 Green Lanterns's, I'm not having the same thing happen to me again, next part being pure evil, the wind pushes me through the level forcing me to progress at twice the speed I normally would, relying on muscle memory to push the jump button when immediate danger follows as every platform falls away form my feet.

A bunch of Green Lanterns turn up at the scene, as I try to progress by throwing my self at an oncoming cannon ball, I slip and fall to my death. (97) 

I need to ride it like it was a wrecking ball

I don't even manage to bounce on the cannon ball this time, just fall straight to my death once a 'fucking' gain (98) 

This platform falls away from under my feet (99) 

I need some music on to chill me out, Bring me the Horizon it is, a Red Bull quickly follows so I get a mad focus on.

Once again the latter addition of music helps, my heart jumps as I hit checkpoint 4, I saw
myself getting a bit stuck then, that's nothing compared to what the level now brings to the front-line, in the form of turbine platforms, Spiked walls, ceilings, floors and the even adorable propeller mice.

The fan slams on, pushing me down to the lower level, progress lost, but at least I wont be dying as much, just forced to traverse the levels again.

The level claim's that I touched some spike's, I call bullshit and with that comes the big recorded death (100) fucking game, I wonder what the total number of death's is at now.

Red Bull, GO!

My super juice

I use my now super human level's of focus and determination to sprint through, as I climb into what appears to be the top level, I see roof fans and one knight, I think to myself I'll use my beam vision to destroy all I see, then remembering this is a game, not real life.

I use my mind powers to throw the Red Bull can in the bin and get on with it.

I pounce and so does the bastard knight knocking me all the way back to checkpoint 4.

Apparently sniffing spike's also kills you (101)

I jump whilst blowing my war horn, I do this in perfect harmony of man and oversized horn, That's that knight dealt with , as I float to the bottom I worry through each section of level that he will just re-spawn at the top again when I start my climb back.

Fist bump

When I get there I'm lucky, the war horn completely blew him to pieces thus destroying his ability to re-spawn, I claim the hidden chest he was guarding, the treasure a welcome addition to the ever growing bank balance, as I walk out the level I pump fists with my brodem checkpoint 5.

Picture this, jellyfish, roof spikes, no floors and an highly aggressive wind current carrying my heavy ass along, I fucking hate this game.


I'm hugely surprised I got this far to be honest, I know its all down to this blog keeping my drive going forward, Normal Caleb would have claimed the game broken 5 death's in and never played it again .......BANG!

Normal Caleb

I drop my 3DS but alls okay as the powers still on, If it had  switched off 5 checkpoints in I would have seriously lost my shit, only to then find it and lose it all over my 3DS.

I figure this puzzle out to late and eat spike salad, roof spike salad (102)

It's a giant puzzle I have to glide through as the wind changes direction, so does McShovel's, the ever popular extremly hard checkpoint 5-6 vibe kicks in, I get through the first area, area 2 causing me trouble.

I die for no reason (103) and again (104) my cool has definitely gone today, I'm finding it stressful and hard.

(105) I need to time my jump, letting the wind carry me to safety.I run straight to my death.(106), (107), (108), (109) 

(110), I continue adventuring only to have the wind push my now squishy brain into spikes (111) 
I get further than before, panic dying in the process.

Evil Jellyfish

I make it through as I always do in my stories, the Hero never truly dying, only to see what one can only describe as living hell cruisung across the bottom of my screen, cannon balls evenly timed, flying in a frustrating line, jelly fish tormenting me as they fly above.

My guess is to shovel drop across them, bashing the jelly fish above, then running safely into the arms of checkpoint 6.

I jump to my death (112)

I make it second time and that's checkpoint 6, I could cry this morning.

"Get down here and face me, you gyroscopic jester"Propeller Knight

This is going to be an absolutely elemental bro down, air-bender style (113), he fucks me up.

He's wearing a propeller hat, super cute! (114), (115) 

Gyroscopic Jester Knight

He's now throwing me around like a cat would its kill (116)

The hole this dick smashed in the floor claimed my last 4 live's, I'm growing wiser to his patterns of attack, I remind him of this fact by smashing his propeller hat to pieces, claiming 3000 man purse coins and a rather pleasant dream about catching Shield Knight once more.

I save her this time, waking by the fire as I do. I find another meal ticket by the fire and thats max health for me, 10 orbs!

Next place to adventure , THE TOWER OF FATE, end game perhaps?

133 Total Deaths and 10.25:42 Play Time

I celebrate buying the wickedly named propeller dagger

Captain Toad:Treasure Tracker - The Power of Mushrooms

I sit, coffee in one hand and Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker in the other, as the game boots up I'm welcomed with some jolly tunes. It's all thing's Captain Toad from the Go!

My main man Captain Toad

Being it his first self titled outing, popular in Mario Galaxy, Mario Galaxy 2 and the super adorable Mario World 3D, Captain Toad is somewhat pissed, as a giant bird named Wingo has taken his current piece of squeeze Toadette, hostage.

This resulting in Captain Toad solving 70, Yes 70 puzzles all in the name of whacky mushroom love.

The save system opens up as a giant Tome annoyingly only capable of handling one save at a time, meaning no one is ever going on my save, as they'll ruin it! You can track every finished level, whether you've horded all 3 gems and completed all challenges across this leather bound treasure tome, breaking each level into a separate page, very clever!

Super hard chocolate kettle challenge

Challenges vary from level to level, some being as simple as pick 'Captain Toads nose' or more frustrating ones like level 15's 'Don't defeat any Para-biddybuds' leaving a lot to worry about if you're a completionist like me.

 (also a bad one at that)

Replayability is in good hands with this game as challenges often take more than one play through per level, often only becoming clear once the level is complete, then your rewarded with the covenanted 'king hat stamp' of approval upon completion.

Enter annoyingly judgemental black line when all challenges are not finished, destroying that perfect run of red ribbon across the top of Caps Tome.

Currently sitting at between 5-6 hours of game play, 18 levels en- counting, I can say my time has been short but very sweet indeed.

One key point making this game hard at times is Captain Toad's rubbish ability at taking a hit for the 'One', two punches in and he decides Toadette's not worth this shit on a Monday morning,continuing to shrivel up and die in the sun.

This not helped by the fact that every time you see an enemy you run away, that being half of Caps skill set right there, This so called 'run' ability currently only moving at 'slow' and 'very slow'.

The game being a beautiful feast for the eyes with bright displays of colour and charm all over the place, I want to say Fez could have inspired some of captains cubism journey? maybe, anyway

Captain Fez, Fez Tracker.

The controls handle somewhat well.

Captain Toads extensive skill set has been broken down to 'RUN' and 'PULL', like any man if Captain Toad can't pull, he just runs away.

Other than that, the annoying 'stick your face on the controller and blow' move which is more disruptive than helpful, always ruining the camera angle as you get close to that special controller.

This move used to raise and lower platforms for Cap to jump on, adding some intractability to the games simple controls.

Boss Battles come in the form of 'If you get to the top in time I'll hurt myself dead' the only challenge being not getting hit twice before reaching the top.The first being a dopey ass dragon that hurts himself dead 10 levels in.

Aggressive assault mode engage.

We First see that Toadette isn't toad toast 18 levels in, openly holding herself hostage on Wingo's giant gold bird bling necklace.

So what does Captain Toad do?! He charges forward, leading a none aggressive assault on a giant kidnapping bird that openly likes mushrooms

Saying that though Wingo's attack does just seem to be the bird Pokemon staple move 'Gust'

I mind my own business and run around like the coin hungry bitch I am hellbent on retrieving gold.

I then notice 'Gust' is actually helping me solve Wingo's watch tower puzzle by blowing deterrents out of my way and me into the safety of what looks like a crack pipe, Captains first idea is to shove his head in there and subsequently be fired into the air revealing Wingo's now sunny watchtower full of gold and magical treats.

Captain Toads favourite pass time, Crack

This leads to a boss battle which can only be described as a treasure tracking, club scout mushroom throwing over sized vomit turnips at a Giant birds face.

Those vomit turnips being excavated from giant piles of bird gold, atop a sunny watchtower.

Wingo then decides to choke on vomit turnip pie, falling out of the sky leaving me with Captain Toad pulling Toadette out of a pile of gold by her feet.

To my absolute disgust the credits roll and that's the end of Caps LSD induced rescue mission of Toadette from the clutches of an evil bird, I'm Baffled. It can't be done can it?!

After what is a confusing 5 minute credit sequence Toadette continues her bullshit again by not getting kidnapped?! This time it's Captain Toads turn to go missing.

Time to go missing

A second Giant tome appears in the same style as the first, which reveals its now Cap's time to get 'Toadnapped'

The Power of Mushrooms, Hey!

Kirby Style.